Honestly, does it get any better?

So sorry for your loss, it’s only 7 weeks for you so it’s not surprising that you are feeling as you are. You are still having to adjust somehow to the trauma you’ve been through. I’m 6 months into this journey since my husband died. I’m not sure it gets easier but it’s certainly not as raw and agonising all the time, you slowly adjust and get through each day and even though the sadness is always there when you pause to think it’s not as all consuming and overpowering as it was in the first few weeks and months. I hope you have good support to get through these dark days, posting here was really helpful for me as only those who’ve been through this really know how you feel so keep posting.

take care xx

It will get better, your head is trying to process the events and the shock . My husband had 4 weeks and I ha s good hours and bad hours. I don't think I have had.a good day. You have just said what I was thinking last night. I miss him so much and I can't do anything about it. You have to be kind to your self , greif is all consuming at the moment . 

Hold on and look after yourself

Marie.

Thank you so much for your response, I am hoping that the community helps, I think it will as I am not one for face to face talking about my feelings, but I find just getting things out here is helping in some way, making sure that I am feeling how I should, and that I am not sinking into depression it's just the most terrible grief. 

I know I must be a little better than when it first happened, but there feels such a long way still to go in this horrible journey.

I am happy to hear things are a little easier for you x

Thank you Marie, it is so hard isn't it?! It's like you just keep being kicked over and over by it. I am constantly going over it in my head, I know there is nothing I could have done about it, but it just seems too final, that I will never see him again. Our on will be 3 next week and I am dreading it, I have cried wrapping all his presents so I am worried how the day will pan out without daddy.

take care that's all we can do x

Dear San81,

Firstly, please accept my sincere condolences.

My husband died over 13 months ago and I can so much relate to what you experience in these early days on this difficult journey.

Yes, it will get better. Not that the grieving stops, how could it? But you will feel that the pain is less raw and a little easier to cope with. Even to this day I have moments - sometimes shorter sometimes longer - where I feel so lonely for my husband, where I miss him terribly, where I want him back, where the sadness and grief feel overwhelming. But I have learned that all those feelings pass and that, very slowly, moments of peace and sometimes even contentment with what Is can come back into your life.

But it takes time of course. So be kind to yourself, keep posting here, try to eat and sleep and do things for yourself that you know are good for you, and never forget that we are all here for you.

Love, Mel.

Hi  l have just reached the first anniversary of my husbands death . I don't feel as numb & raw but the sense of  being redundant because l have no one to care for & no  one  to care about me is overwhelming. I have a caring family but the sense of loneliness even in company is hard .

But must keep going & hope life get better as l know that's what we all must do & thats what he would have wanted

.Love to everyone .x

Hi everyone, it has been 18 months since my husband fied, and although it's not as raw I still miss him so so much, even though he could be a right pain at times, he was my pain, I have my Simpson's wife and 2 son's coming tomorrow for the weekend, hence the sleepless night, thinking of how much I wish he was here, the youngest is only 4 months so he never saw him, the other one almost 3, so doesn't remember something his will have lots of photo's to look at of them both together, most of which I don't like, only because Tom.looked awful, he was ill for 4years.  I don't feel as numb but tell him everything I have done or plan to do..

Not long after he died I was talking to a neighbour, and good friend, she told me it does get easier, but even now still has off days thinking about her husband, I first thought she meant her 2nd but she said no, it was her first and he had died 28years ago,  said it was different with her second as it was more of companionship with him than the deeper love than before. Sounds odd but now if I think I should be feeling less like hurt and lost than I do, I remember that conversation, if she still has days after so long, why should I berate myself.  

But this is something that our own families, and I must admit myself years ago, would be at understand if they hadn't lost a husband/wife. We can only try to plod on in the knowledge that it will get easier.  A conversation I had with a friend this week comes to mind, her husband died 12 months before mine, she found the second year the hardest as family/friends seemed to think she should be over grieving and not wanting to talk about him so much.  

Sorry for the ramble folks, but as usual, I don't say much, but when I do I go on forever, but like me in person really.  Anyway Love and hugs to all on this forum.

San81, I really feel for you. Losing your husband like that, so quickly, what a horrible time for you. I'm just 8 weeks on but had  2.5 years to 'prepare' for John dying, although really you can never be prepared. I can't offer anything other than sympathy because I too am still hurting so much, but others have said it will get bearable. Some days are better than others.  I think this early on we won't really have good days, but there may be brighter moments, like having a cup of tea or a glass of wine with a friend.  Lots of people have told me to 'keep busy', but that's not easy as grieving is quite exhausting isn't it! Losing your partner/soulmate/best friend is just indescribably awful and no-one can really understand who hasn't been through  it. And even then, we have different experiences, some have a supportive family and friends, some don't. I hope you do.

Anne x