Feeling tearful..

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During the last few days I have been very tearful. Thinking about Richard a lot lately.

Its coming up to what what have been out 1st wedding anniversary, on 13 July 2019.

Yes, we got married on Friday 13th at two thirty (a reference to a dentist joke and his cancer that started off as a tooth ache!. Making no apologies for our sense of humour!) It was the best decision we made. We had been living together for over 16 years and finally we both got our act together.

This is one of my few regrets that we did not get married earlier but am grateful that we finally did. The way Richard. dealt with his illness was so inspiring and it his attitude towards it that continues to give me strength to move on positively, in the most part.

It just so happens my brother and sisters are staying over next Friday. Plans we made a while ago but sub consciously it has worked out that I will not be alone next Saturday.

It does not help that I have a shoulder injury and have not been to my yoga classes for the last couple of weeks. Off to the chiropractor now and will go for a walk thereafter. Time to reflect, probably will cry some more.....and that is okay with me. It's a nice sunny day.

With lots of love,

Dutsie x

Wildcat over 5 years ago

I'm glad you won't be on your own. You may find that the build up to the day is harder than the day itself.

Take care and hope your shoulder improves soon.

Look to the moon.

Can't imagine any future without my soulmate

Dutsie over 5 years ago in reply to Wildcat

Thanks Wildcat,

You are most probably right re build up to the day etc.

I spend a lot of time alone at home but out and about quite a bit. It just will be nice to have company at home next weekend and take it easy.

MelanieL over 5 years ago

Hi Dutsie,

I am sorry you have been feeling so tearful lately, but maybe it is just time for it to come out now, especially because you are approaching the wedding anniversary. Let the tears come out and know that grief knows its own way to move through and with you.

I too have times when I feel more tearful than others. I never see it coming. It is just that one day all is well and the next day it is not. Particularly approaching important days, or when I see a memory pop up on my Facebook, I can get quite upset. That's normal though.

Love and hugs!

Mel.

I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.

Dutsie over 5 years ago in reply to MelanieL

Thanks Mel,

I agree with your comment re let the tears come out. It's part of letting go and not internalising feelings that are all there in one way or another.

Lots of FB memories this year; most make me smile now. I also know what you mean that sometimes it can equally make you sad.

I have been reading your posts regarding complementary therapies. Just wanted to say that I love your passion in trying to make a change, no matter how frustrating it can be at times.

With lots of love,

Dutsie x

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