Hi everyone,
I would really like to know if any of you, particularly those who are on this journey for a number of months like myself, experience something similar to what I experience. For the past couple of weeks, I wake up in the morning aware that I had one dream or several dreams during the night in which >I spoke with somebody about how much I miss Paul, how much I would love him to be here, or sometimes I give items to people and say, "Do you remember when he gave you this as a present?" or "Ah he really loved that!" And it brings tears to my eyes in the dream. The interesting thing is that I can't feel my feelings, sometimes it is a little bit as if I am not myself. So for example I would cry but I wouldn't feel that it is me who is crying, if this makes sense.
Since this has been going on for some time now I am getting a little worried. I mean, maybe this is just my way of processing my pain, but I am wondering if it is a healthy sign to be processing only through dreams and then I can't even feel my feelings but just know that they are there, and I am wondering if this is a sign that I should probably go for counselling.
During the day I am fine. Usually after my first or second cup in the morning and when I have spent a little while to remember everything I am grateful for - a practice that I feel really helps in focusing on the present moment - I am fine and able to go through the day without too many sad moments. My energy level as well as my eating are okay as well. So no signs that I am bottling things up from that point of view.
What do you all think about this? And do any of you experience the same?
Love, Mel.
