Lack of sleep...

Mmmmm sleep, that is something i could do with a bit of. Early days for me i know but a good sleep is still not on the cards. I walk miles, cycle miles and even went horse riding today followed by a walk all in the name of tiring myself out to get a good sleep but its not happening.

What do you do? or is this "normal" for our situation.

Being tired just makes me more teary and more emotional than i am already.

Glad you are feeling a little better after a restful weekend

 Richard x

Dutsie and

Well done both of you you're doing grand.

All you can do is to try and do a bit more everyday if you can't face the world tomorrow just leave it and try again the day after it'll still be there it's not a race just a gentle stroll will get you there just as a quick sometimes it will be along a smooth path other times you'll have to negotiate the stoney rough ground to reach the smooth path but the effort will be worth it, remember every journey starts with the first step forward.

Keep on doing your best, Dutsie your Richard and Grampy your Diane are both standing in the wings cheering you on.

To both of you well done and keep reporting your ups and down to the community, we are here to give you a lift when you need it 

Ian

Great advice 

I used to wake up fully awake and ready to dash into help my husband. It took a while to stop my heart racing and leaping up once he passed. Your body  and mind's trying to adjust recover and come to terms with everything you had to face. If you need to slow down or stop do so. If it's urgent may be yes but otherwise please look after yourselves xxx

Hi Ian,

I remember you from the carers group. Hope you are keeping well. Totally agree with you. Spent Saturday in bed watching movies and sleeping which is why I got bored by Sunday evening. Needed the rest though! So totally agree with your advice.

It took a while to get my sleep in order. Time spent as a carer, getting up at the slightest noise etc and not having a full night sleep became the norm last year. As I mentioned in the carers group....I fully intend to become the best version of myself in honour of Richard.

I think I was being very hard on myself in the early days and not opening up about my feelings. This group has helped me to see things differently and I now just go with the flow and not suppress feelings. Thank you wifeof26years for gently nudging me towards bereavement support which starts this Friday.

Spent Sunday evening setting myself 4 goals...1. to walk more, 2. yoga at home (i go 3/4 yoga classes a week) 3. drink two litres of water and 4. complete a food diary.

I am logging it all to give me some structure with no set goals....just working towards them. I just find it focuses me to be more healthy as oppose to what I was doing or not doing.

Richard, I would suggest legs up the wall with relaxing music on. Check on YouTube for details. I do this for ten minutes in the morning and the evening at home. It lowers blood pressure, aids sleep and will do your hamstrings some good too! I find yoga as a very helpful tool and those positive feelings you get from practising filters through into real life. 

Feeling relaxed this evening and probably will sleep very well as went to a  yoga class this evening.

Night night all Xx

Sleep is tricky for me too. I get about 5 hours usually, rarely much more which I know isn't really enough. I tend to drop off but wake in the middle of the night - not sure how much is down to bereavement, or habit (most of us will have had vastly reduced sleep if we were caring for our partners for any length of time), or - double whammy - the menopause! The latter is a great topic of discussion for me and my friends of a similar age. I realise that sleep is an issue for most of them too, whether or not they have other emotional things going on. A GP friend of mine has advised to go with the flow and try not to let anxiety about sleep make things even worse. On whole I manage surprisingly well and even have bursts of energy at times, but I expect I'd consider getting help from the doctor if it was really getting me down. Doing something outdoors, taking exercise etc all good advice. Others have also recommended yoga so I will see if there's a class nearby when I move in a few weeks.

Hi Dutsie sounds like you feel a bit more in control of where you are trying to get to. I hope the bereavement  counselling  helps. You still need to rest when you feel tired as you say a prolonged period of sleep disruption because of needing to care will have had a tremendous effect on your body. 

Hope yoga and other focused items help too. I'm sure eating exercising and sleeping better will make a huge difference. I find walking helps me, I'm  visiting new places, seeing more of family and friends. All the best to you take care xxx

Thanks wife26years, definately going in the right direction. With a few twists and turns...in yoga and in life!

Not like me to get help but going with all the support offered. I really do not know what to expect or whether it will help me. However, I have decided better to have no expectations and see where it takes you. I do feel lighter at the moment in general but does not take much for that to change!

Even went to see a dietician last week as suggested by my GP which has helped me get focus on the healthy food front......its not that I do not know what is good for me, it's just I was not doing it.  I can't believe that I have not cooked a proper meal at home for the last nine months or so...I stopped cooking and eating when Richard stopped...Richard had head and neck cancer as well as osophagus cancer...our ice cream collection was second to none but really could not carry on like this...urgh!!

I have kept my "social life" local up until now as my energies levels have not been great. The first few months knocked me for six, understandably.  Going to venture out of town this weekend for a bit of a change and to catch up friends.

Have not started the walking yet...I suppose one step at a time......whoops, apologies for my sense of humour x

With lots love, take care all

Dutsie x