In limbo

Hi Theresa,

I am so sorry for your loss and I am glad you have decided to join this group of people who know what this experience is like because they, too, have lost a loved one and try to come to terms with it and continue to live with it somehow.

How sad that you had so many plans and had just moved house when your husband got so ill. It was similar for my husband and myself. We bought our dream home in spring of 2016 and moved in in June 2016. Everything was fantastic. But then the medication my husband had been on for some time stopped working and his cancer spread into many parts of his body including the liver. After a year of Chemotherapy he just couldn't take it anymore. He got very ill and died last May.

It is a difficult journey we are all on. And it is very early days for you. I hope you have a good support network around you and people who can be there for you at this difficult time, although they cannot truly understand what we are going through unless they too have lost a loved one like we have. But turn to them anyway as you do need help and support to cope.

Love, Mel.

Hi there Theresa

I am so sorry you join us all here & to hear about your husband, life can be so unfair & I know how cheated you feel. my husband also died of kidney cancer & although they removed the kidney & the adrenal gland, it had still spread across multiple organs, both his lungs & then brain. It must be very hard to get your brain around it when you both thought your husband was doing well and life could return to normal, really cruel .

3/4 months seems to be quite a significant time in this grieving process as it seems to be when it hits home that life as we knew it before has really changed. I hope you are being kind to Yourself, taking it a day at a time and seeing friends when you’re up to it, I know it changes nothing but it does help a bit. 

I just  wanted to let you know I’d heard you, and I’m  so sorry for your loss. Please keep posting here if it helps you, it’s a huge Support to many of us and helps us feel a little less alone. 

Big hugs to you 

Sarah xx

Hi Theresa , my hubby died 14 weeks tomorrow and it’s still as hard as day one.I read in a post somewhere that they said their soul weeps, and that’s exactly as I feel. The tears aren’t as frequent but there is an empty feeling inside that doesn’t go away

we knew he wouldn’t beat the cancer but his deterioration was so fast.Everything seems flat and grey,I’m trying my best going walking etc, and not refusing invites for coffee etc,but I feel so alone, even having my lovely family and friends

Nothing but nothing can prepare you for this bereavement, that’s why these forums are invaluable, keep coming on even if you don’t always feel like posting