Partner died

Hi Shygirl

I'm sorry you have found yourself here.  Many of us here have felt or are feeling the exact way you are now.

6 weeks is not a long time at all and it's only natural that you are feeling like this.  Do you have a support network round you at the moment.?  Family or friends that you can talk to or just hang out with?

Keep talking on here and post whatever you feel you need to.

Take care

B  -x- 

Only samaratins, cruse bereavement got to wait 6 weeks, before I see a counseller, my friend's really haven't been in touch since the funeral, and family live up north, les family I have seen once in two weeks 

I know exactly how you feel and I'm beginning to realise from on here there are a lot of us feeling the same way you do so as hard as it seems I guess it's "normal"  I'm only two weeks in and yes it's so hard to accept what has happened and they are not going to just walk in any moment. You are certainly not alone, at least on here anyhow. 

X

I just can't believe it , an empty house, empty heart and soul, I miss her so much 

It is a lonely path we walk and seems to have been that way since things got really rough. I don't know how it was for you but all those "if you need anything" comments were just something people are compelled to say, the same as the "how are things" one. I don't think they really want to know and I don't think they could handle it. I just want to cry and hug someone I can truly tell how I feel but I don't have anyone that close. 

That is how I feel, I got no one too, close by, because they don't know how to deal with me 

Hi shygirl18

I'm so sorry that you have lost your love. Also that your support has been so little and trailed off hard as that is some people do not seem to know what to say or do. 

We are here for you. ..

I remember  at the start looking too far ahead was hard and quite bewildering. The pain so hard I couldn't  get it out. I don't know your events but as for me we knew it was coming but how do you prepare for that. The shock the emotion is unbelievable. Take care of yourself rest when needed do only the essentials and be prepared that emotions thoughts and memories will be all over. Share whatever you need xxx

I am so saddened to read that you are both finding it difficult without your partner's love to keep you strong. Friends keep away because they are embarrassed and frightened they will say the wrong thing  when all you need is someone to be with you and give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on, no words are necessary they don't understand you don't need to be continually asked how are you, how are you coping, are you alright you just need their company for a while and to talk if you want to or just sit in silence and reflect. You want the friends to come on by and be the friend you thought they were and for them not to be embarrassed if you burst into tears because you're grieving you're  hurting you're missing your partner more than words can tell but you need them to sit with you, hold your hand or give you a hug but they don't understand and you've not got the words to tell them how you feel because they are not there when you need them to show them how much you're hurting you're grieving you're missing your partner and you sit alone as they don't understand why you need their company more than ever at this time.

I am pleased that you have both found this group (you will remember Grampy that I suggested to come along here from the carers group) I see that you both are making a connection with the other members, a group of people who understand your grief and the hurt you're going through because they've found their way here for the same reasons as you have. I know that you both will receive a tremendous amount of support over the coming weeks and gradually you'll be the ones doing the supporting to the new people whose journey has ended up here as you'll understand what they are going through and find the right words to be their support.

In the meantime I'd like to give you a few pointers towards possible local support groups where you might be able to pop along to and meet new people who you can chat to, get some bereavement support and possibly some counselling.

The first is Macmillans Support in your local area if you open up this page and enter your town or postcode then below in the box type bereavement support and click on filter results hopefully you will find a list of support groups in your local area who can offer you bereavement support and counselling.

The second is  Maggies Centre and again if you click on this and enter your town or postcode there maybe a centre near to you where you can pop along to and ask about bereavement support and counselling but you do have to book your places for them but they do have other things going on where you can meet people and have a chat. Unfortunately although they have many groups around the UK they are spread around and you may not find a centre close to you, but please check you maybe lucky to have one or your doorstep.

I hope you both will continue to visit this group and you find the strength and support you need.

Ian

Thank you bodach you obviously know exactly what we are going through as what you have said has hit the nail on the head, every word of it. This group is a lifeline. 

Thank you x

Hi shygirl, So sorry for your loss. Things are bad and what you need to remember is the things that you and your girl done together that were special. ( take a moment and go to you tube and find Danni & Lizzie, Dancing in the sky) it may be just a bit of comfort. Your pain is felt everywhere around this forum and we all send our love.

I myself am just waiting for the inevitable. My wife of 25yrs has advanced small cell lung cancer, and i'm dreading it.

God Bless Bab and chin up.

J