Big brother passed away from bowel cancer - how do I get through this?

Hello bonehead555, i am sorry to read about your big brother and how quuckly he deteriorated. My husband went downhill very quickly jn the last month, although he was doagnosed earlier. He died in October. 

I also had those questions about speed. If hes been duagnused soner, if the surgery had been sooner etc. Ill never know those answers. 

You will be raw with emotions just now, do you have other family to support each other? Or friends? 

Getting through is just one minite one hour one day at a time. You may have to busy yourself with admin, funeral etc, unless someone else is doing that. Eat a little when you can, it doesnt matter if its rubbish, drink plenty in this heat. Rest when you need to. Set small tasks each day.  Be kind, thats hard but try.

Call upon anyone, for support, family, friends, neigbours etc, they can all help you get through these early weeks.

Come here to chat, we all get it speak freely without judgement.

Big hugs to you x

Thank you so much Malengwa for your thoughts and for the practical advice, this will help I'm sure. I've got so many thoughts going round, from seeing him suffering these last couple of weeks, and then holding his hand as he died.

And I just miss him you know, would give anything to just have a chat with him.

Thanks again x

I am so sorry for your loss.  You have a lot of questions and I'd encourage you to ask the doctors for answers if you have authority to do so.  Alternatively perhaps your GP could help you with understanding the circumstances.  I had questions when my husband died at the beginning of this month, 5 weeks from the initial diagnosis, and my GP explained what had happened, why things had progressed so quickly and what the hospital doctors' plans were throughout.  It helped me so it may help you too.

Sending hugs and best wishes xxx

Thanks Oyster for your advice, and I'm so sorry to read of your loss. You must have only just begun to accept that he even had cancer when he passed away. I really hope that you're coping with life.

1. I am going to ask for more information from my gp, I wasn't really told much at the time and it just felt like we were kept waiting for treatment while the cancer was getting worse each week and day. The speed of this awful disease was brutal. 

Thanks again, lots of hugs to you x