So Angry with myself

DVE1958 2 days ago

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My wife died 30th March. Im so angry with myself. Instead of staying with her all night I slept on the sofa for 5 hours while her mum stayed eith her. Why did I do that?

At times I felt that if she died it would be a release not only for her but for me. Im angry at myself for even thinking that. Why?

Im not sleeping that well, maybe 5 hours a night. Im rushing things believing that if it gets done it will be better. Its not.

I could stop work and retire but I have 2 kids to look after so don't know what is best. Grief is shit. I can't think straight so how can I decide something so big

Give it time they say it will get better. I hope so.

nicangel 1 day ago

I went home from the hospital to get Nick's things and some sleep and a shower. We'd been in a&e 24 hours and they'd only just found him a bed. I shouldn't have left him. The nurse called me at 9am to say to come up ASAP. When I got there his breathing was so laboured and he was on full oxygen. The Dr said there was nothing else they could do. I feel so guilty I left him. Why did I do that.

But we do what we think is ok at the time. And you left your wife with her mum. She'd have known she, you and your family and her mum were safe.

You are so early in grief your head will be swimming with everything. Big decisions can wait a while. Just do one thing at a time.

Sending love

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So Angry with myself