I am not enough

Hi Michelle

Sorry to read about your husband. Its still so recent for you, have you even had the funeral yet?

Im just 11 weeks into this sh*t existence. I cry every day at the drop of a hat. Christmas is particularly difficult. You said you have adult children are they nearby and supporting you? Mine are not that near so I spend a lot of time on my own. You dont need to be strong for them, be honest and open about how you feel. You are all griving together, just in your own ways and your grief will inevitably be different from theirs.

Are you able to connect to any bereavement support? I joined a group that meets every couple of weeks. I have good neighbours and colleagues. Can you reach out to people, sometimes its just having company that helps. 

Just take one day at a time, baby steps, sleep and eat if you can, tackle basic jobs like washing up or admin, one bit at a time. Its all exhausting, especially crying.

I can also recommend Way up online forum for bereaved partners, everyone on there understands and they do online and real meet ups around the country. Sadly none where I live but you never know.

Do keep talking, it helps. We are a supportive bunch here.