Life is full of firsts. Some we don't remember, some we never forget. As we get older these firsts become rarer. We think we've seen it all, done it all, until something happens. Something devastating that changes our life forever. We start to have many firsts again. So please remember those who are spending Christmas without a loved one. For the first time...
I posted this last year. I thought it would be easier this year, but it's not. It's harder. Everyone around me last year understood but this year it's as if they think I'm over it. I'll be fine. I got over the first Christmas. I can't tell them how bad I feel so I put on a smile and pretend. Will I ever be able to stop pretending.
David and I were married over 40 years. He passed away less than 6 weeks after his bowel cancer diagnosis 18 months ago. Everyone put his symptoms down to a Crohns flare up till it was too late. We had no time to come to terms with first the diagnosis and then the terminal prognosis.
Maybe next year will be better.
Oh, bless your heart.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Grey Girl.
I can relate to many of the the NHS you have written. You sound so wise. I truly hope that you have good friends and loved ones around you. Please don't feel you have to pretend to everyone that you are over the sad passing of your dear husband. One or two loving, understanding hugs would make all the difference to your sense of isolation.
Sending you all my love and healing thoughts.
Penny xxx 
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