Fresh Grief

Hi, I don’t have any advice but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I have been through a similar experience.

My dad was also diagnosed in November 2024 (throat cancer) & ended up with no teeth and a feeding tube.

After failed treatment, issues with feeding tube, being starved for 2 weeks by the local hospital he unfortunately lost his battle on Wednesday 23rd June aged 65. 
He was at his home and we had an amazing last day & when I left he said bye, love you.

my partner found him just 2 and half hours later.

i too am struggling on how do i carry on, he was my best friend & my girls (2 & 7mths) adored him. We have his picture by our front door and my 2 year old says hi grandad and by grandad everytime she walks past.

im 33 & now apart of me is missing.i hope me sharing my similar experience helps a little knowing your not alone 

Hi there,

I'm so sorry for your loss. My Dad passed away on July 27th and his funeral is tomorrow - I'm dreading it and don't know how I will hold it together.

My Dad passed away in hospital at about 3am in the morning - we'd been at the hospital with him since he went back in on the Thursday night. We weren't actually there when he did die but we were there leading it up to it, so I do know a bit of how you feel - before they started to giving him a calming sedative, he was drifting in and out of sleep and kept repeatedly saying 'Help me, help me' - myself, my brother and my Mum and my husband were all there reassuring him that we were there all the time, but, like you, I don't think the absolute horror of experiencing what it's like to be there when someone you love is going through that will ever leave me. Unless you've been through it, you really don't know.

I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better - when I feel that the grief is literally going to overwhelm me and mow me down, I keep trying to talk to myself in my head and say things like 'It's so awful and it's so sad but you can get through it, you can cope with it'. You will sleep eventually because exhaustion will take over you. Keep trying to tell yourself that your Mum will always be there, somewhere around, she will always exist within the person you are and that it's better that she didn't suffer for a long period before passing away. The Thursday to Sunday where we knew my Dad was going to die and he seemed so distressed was dreadful and the worst thing I have ever been through. If your brother and Dad can't share their feelings, find a friend or relative you can talk things through with - or, like you already have, come on here and vent. You aren't alone, I promise - although, times like these, 3.38 am in the morning are some of the worst. You will never stop being sad about losing your Mum; the fact that her illness was so short and there was nothing that you or anyone could do will never stop seeming like such a horrific shocking thing, but, I know you can get through it because I didn't think that I would be able to, but, I have managed to keep going so far.

Keep talking, keep going,

Take care,

Katie x