A close friend and work colleague who I worked with for 4 years at work passed away from Renal Cell Carcinoma, kidney cancer last July. Until this id never majorly been impacted by cancer. I knew she had terminal cancer for the 4 years I worked with her but I wasn’t expecting that she’d go at the point of her passing. This broke my heart as we were really close and she meant the world to me. I found her funeral extremely sad and difficult to cope with. My work performance and behaviour suffered badly however I managed to get back on track and I still miss her terrible but have been learning to live with the pain.
Just when I was starting to move forwards with my friends passing and learning to live with it my Grandad was taken to hospital with a chest infection. After three lots of antibiotics didn’t work they did some scans and found multiple tumours all over his body! At this point the hospital never used the word cancer but me and my family knew what it likely was because of how sick Grandad was. Multiple of his organs were failing, he had at least one nasty infections that wasn’t responding to any antibiotics until the day before he passed, it caused sepsis and they said the tumour in his chest was likely going to cause heart failure. There was nothing they could do accept put a DNR on his notes! The last day we were at the hospital they confirmed Grandad cancer. They didn’t know at this point whether it was lung cancer or mesothelioma. They suspected mesothelioma. This was a shock for us as Grandad had never knowingly worked with asbestos. Sadly we’ve since found out that he was unknowingly exposed and the autopsy results came back last week as mesothelioma.
Watching Grandad suffer and die for 11 days in hospital was the most horrendous experience of my life!!! Losing two people who I was close too within 12 weeks of each other has been absolutely devastating! Until this I have never majorly been impacted by cancer but now it’s devastated both me and my family. We are all currently trying to heal from all of this. I’m trying to move forward with my life and i hope sharing this story is a positive step to doing so. I am feeling better than I was but my anxiety levels are still high. Aspects of my life such as my work performance improving slowly but still not what they were. Im also finding that every little thing is getting to me and upsetting me. Even things that wouldn’t normally bother me. It feels like this will never pass! I just wondered if this is a normal experience?
Hi Kagro ,
My name is Syed and I’m a member of the Community team here at Macmillan. I hope you don’t mind me getting in touch, however, after reading your post I wanted to reach out. I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your close friend and Grandad.
It’s saddening to hear about the experience surrounding their losses and how you’re feeling. I hope that you find the Community to be a beacon of support and kindness during this difficult period.
Please remember, you can speak to your GP about your mental health as well as your physical health. They will usually have access to any local support services that you may find helpful.
I’d like to make you aware of Hub of Hope. This is a specialised tool that allows you to find support services local to your area. You can simply enter your postcode, select ‘Bereavement’ as a concern and then it will show local services that you may find beneficial.
If you feel the need to, you may also contact Cruse Bereavement Care. They are a dedicated bereavement service and may help support you during this difficult time. It may be worth your time to give them a call on 0808 808 1677. More information is available on the link above.
You are always welcome to call the Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 or alternatively, click here for webchat. The Support Line has specialist teams that are on hand to try and support you. Here, they can offer you emotional and practical support over the phone. Please don’t hesitate to give them a call if you need some additional support over the phone or online. They are available 8am until 8pm, 7 days a week.
If there is anything else me or my team can do, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us here and always remember the Community is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I wish you and your family all the best and hope you can access the support you need.
You are not alone,
Syed
Macmillan Community Team
Best wishes,
Syed
Macmillan Community Team
