Mum

So sorry to hear about your mum Hi32! And in short no you’re not wrong in any way for feeling like this! I lost my Dad in April and still regularly cry, often feel lost and am finding my way through the loss every day. But I find comfort in writing to and about him, remembering him through pictures and videos with my mum, siblings and small nieces and making my life now mean something for him and me in his memory. 

It’s the hardest journey we shouldn’t have to make, but let’s make it worth it! All my best xxx

Hi thank you for replying to me , I'm so sorry to hear about your dad ! It's so hard isn't it , everybody in my family seem to have moved on really fast and getting on with everyday life now and I feel like I'm stuck, I have been talking to my mum while I'm in the house etc and making sure as a family we talk about her aswell , I was trying to make myself busy by going to the gym and walks but have had to stop temporarily because of my health.

I'm not sure if I am feeling the affects of everything more than my family as my mum was in hospital twice leading up to her passing and both times I was at the hospital everyday and even when mum has palliative care in her final few weeks I was there 2/3 times a day where as my brother stopped going and in not sure if it's because I saw mum deteriorate so much where as nobody else apart from my step dad did , and then when it came to the funeral I was the one that had to arrange everything and even at the Chapel of rest I was there on my own so unsure if this has an affect on me,  I have however registered to go and speak to someone at bereavement counciling which hopefully makes things easier.

That Is really good you are finding comfort in the things you do to remember your dad and hopfully I can get to that point soon aswell.

X

Hello again and thanks for your response. I’m sorry to hear of your journey being so different from your brother, but also think in time you’ll be thankful you were there. I saw and was involved with dads end of life care more than a daughter would ever want to, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m traumatised yes, but I’m also able to calm myself when I’m struggling the most with the knowledge I helped him at his most vulnerable, as he did for me. I hope you can find some comfort in that. We won’t be fully ok again but we will eventually find a new ok, in their memory. Xxx

I also lost my Mum in May this year, she had ovarian cancer which she was diagnosed with at the end of 2019. I'm nearly 6 months down the line and I don't feel anywhere near ready to resume my normal routine. I have also been suffering with anxiety and I am on both medication and receiving counselling to try and help me get that a little more under control.

I have started to make a few steps in the right direction - getting some exercise, but I have only felt motivated to do that in the last few weeks (I think the counselling has helped me find a bit of that motivation). Meeting up with friends for a coffee or a bite to eat has been about the only normal thing I have felt like doing since my mum passed away. I live on my own, so that has been where I have gone for my support as I live far away from the rest of my family.

Grief is such a personal thing and you shouldn't feel guilty for how you are feeling. It will take as long as it takes and please know there are people out there who understand that and are experiencing similar to yourself. 

Take care.

Hi, my mum passed away in the middle of august and I am still crying every single day. I had 7 weeks with her from the day she was diagnosed to when she passed but the last week she was in hospital. I have just gone back to work full time and feel confused with my new normal routine. I was offered bereavement support though palliative care who explained the stages of grief isn’t just 1 to 5 but all over the place you be at acceptance in the morning and then angry and then depression all within the next 3 hours and that is completely normal. They also told me to make sure you are listening to what my body tells you, if you feel like crying all day then do it. Maybe you could speak to your partner and ask them to give you more time. There isn’t a timeframe of grieving. Hang in there xx

I am so sorry for your loss. My dad passed away in August with metastatic pancreatic cancer. It’s so cruel isn’t it. We actually didn’t know it had come back so we found out on the 11th august it was back and dad passed on the 14th. It’s been so hard coming to terms with it all and wondering why he didn’t tell us. All we can go with is that he wanted to protect me and my mum. We believe he was told in May that there was no more they could do. I was pregnant and had my second son in July so the last few months have been a whirlwind. The only way I’m coping at the moment is by just taking each day as it comes. Some days I’m ok, other days I’m not and I’m listening to my body and my mind and resting as and when I can. I have suffered with anxiety in the past and I’ve recently had a mental health assessment after having my son (bad labour and birth) and my dad so I’m now waiting to hear what help they can give me. If you want to chat at all please let me know :) xx