Chapel of Rest

Hi,

if it's any help, I know myself and my sibling were initially very hesitant to go and visit my father when he passed. We had the exact same thoughts and we were really scared that we would be scarred for life. But in that moment I felt I only had one chance left to see him before he left us physically... and it really wasn't what i was expecting. He looked so peaceful and just like he was sleeping, and didn't look ill or 'dead' even. He just looked like his normal self just asleep. I was so glad I went and said goodbye though. I was not traumatised by the experience either at all, as it was much worse to witness him ill and suffering but now he was in his natural state, just at peace. 

The circumstances are a little different as you mentioned you were with your mother at the time of her death which was probably when you said your goodbyes, whereas I was not. It just depends whether you feel it was enough for you, or whether you have anything left to say or would like to see her one last time. You might find you want to. It's totally up to you though. Might I add, the staff there are trained and will be very sympathetic and will know what to say. 

Sending hugs 

M

Hi Al, oh gosh this is so difficult. Your story is really similiar to mine. My beautiful mum passed last week from a 6 month history of lung cancer …. I’m writing this but it doesn’t feel real . I don’t think it has hit me yet. I’m planning on going to see mum tomorrow. My brother said he wants me to go first and he will decide after my reaction whether to go or not. I just feel I want to . I feel I want to see her one last time . My dad died 5 years ago and I went to see him ( because he died and I wasn’t able to be with him ) . He looked ok and I think it made me accept that he really was gone. I remember him as he was … not as he was in the funeral home . But it is a difficult decision  . I am finding it difficult to accept mum has gone because her illness was relatively quick . . Maybe this will help me accept it better . I just hope I don’t regret seeing mum tomorrow. Sending love . It’s just so surreal x

Thank you fluffyfudge and sorry to hear about your father. Its a very hard decision and very much depends on the circumstances perhaps. The staff at the Chapel of Rest are supportive but they did say she may not look ‘normal’, if thats the right word. We were lucky as we were with her when she passed so had time to say our goodbyes. Ill have to think hard about this as I don’t want to make the grieving process worse than it already is. 

sending love 

So sorry for your loss Fi 21and yes, surreal is the right word to describe this horrible situation. Like you, its difficult to make sense of it all as the illness was so sudden. I think if I hadn’t been with her when she passed then I would most likely go to see her at the Chapel of Rest but since I was, Im not sure its the right thing for me. I hope today goes well for you. X 

Hi, well we went to see mum, it was the most surreal experience of my life. It didn’t look like her and I just burst into tears . Luckily my brother came with me this time … he just gave me a massive hug and I asked to leave. I know feel a bit guilty. It felt like I was in a weird horror film. . . It’s maybe a good thing it didn’t look like mum. I cried most of the day . The funeral director is really lovely snd talked for a long time with us. He was great . I am trying to just block everything out . It’s hard trying to arrange a funeral. I sort of feel that at some point I’m going to snap and sort of lose the plot… I don’t really know what I mean. I’m hoping everyone is ok. It’s such an awful awful time x