First time cancer in my family

Hi AnnaSophiaa

I am sorry to read about your father, it must be so hard as you are so far away from him and your family at the moment, but it is good that you have reached out to Macmillan for support.

You don't say what diagnosis your father has received.  There are lots of groups on here and it could be that you would get support from his particular cancer group. I know you are not with your father at the moment but you do love and care for him.

Macmillan has a really good support line, the number is 0808 808 00 00 and it is available 7 days a week from 8:00 am to 8:00 pm and there is always a friendly voice at the end of the line.  It is a fee to call number.  You can ask to speak to someone for emotional support, although they do offer help and support with all aspects of cancer.

I know that it is often far easier to speak to a complete stranger rather than a close family member at a time like this, and I hope if you are able to call the helpline they will suggest ways that would make it easier to speak to your mum and sisters about your father's diagnosis.

It is always hard to lose someone, but you say that your father has been told that he could have another few years ahead of him, and research into cancer is making great strides at the moment and new treatments are always becoming available.

Make sure you look after yourself, I know it's hard, but do try to stay strong for your mum and sisters and more particularly for your dad.

Take care,

VickiLynne

Hi VickiLynne,

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.

I've been recommended the helpline before, so next time I feel incredibly overwhelmed I will definitely consider phoning them instead of being alone.

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Initially my father was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and they found some spreading, around his pancreas and in his collarbone and spine. Yesterday my father had a consultation in a hospital in the Netherlands specialised in cancer. Before he was treated in a regular hospital, where he had his PET scan and the like. Here he was given the initial kidney cancer diagnosis. This cancer, with the spread, would have been very difficult to treat and has a poor prognosis.

Now in this specialised cancer hospital they've determined that the cancer in his kidney actually originates from the tissue around it, called Liposarcoma, which then grew into the kidney. They said that it's incredibly uncommon for Liposarcoma to both cause kidney cancer and bone cancer, and that they think it more likely that the two (the Liposarcoma in his kidney and the bone cancer) are actually unrelated and just two separate cancers happening at the same time.

To determine this they have to compare the bone cancer tissue to the tissue from the kidney and see if their biological makeup is the same. If it is, then that's bad news, and his life expectancy is a max of two years. However if the two cancers are unrelated then that improves his life expectancy a lot and he could get anything from five to 15 years.

He was originally scheduled to have his kidney removed this Thursday, but now they've decided to figure out this new thing first. Because if the cancer in his kidney is the same as in his bones then his life expectancy is so low, that removing the kidney won't really do anything for him. However they said that it's more likely for him to have two separate cancers at the same time, and while this sounds worse, it's actually the better outcome. So now we'll just have to wait for that result to come.

Thanks again for anyone who reads and/or replies to my comment. I find writing this stuff out gives me a chance to think about it more clearly and come to terms with it a bit more.

Hi AnnaSA

I am pleased that you have updated us on your dad's condition which must be so hard for you and your family to understand.  I haven't heard of this before, and I really hope that it proves to be two different cancers which gives your dad a better prognosis.

How are you doing?  I do hope that you have been able to have easier conversations with your family.  

Do ring the helpline whenever you are feeling or low, or send us another message as we are always here to support you - I know that it does help to tell someone outside the family how you are feeling. 

Take care,

VickiLynne