My mum had COPD which was not good but we had to accept it she smoked for over 60 years so it was a risk that she took but it obviously meant that she had regular check ups of her lungs at the hospital it was during one of these routine x-rays that they saw something on her left lung that shouldn't of been there so the specialist made an appointment for mum to go back to the hospital so it could be investigated further. They did a biopsy and it was lung cancer. We were deverstated but hopeful cause mum had had cancer twice before, cervical and breast, and with treatment she beat it so we went to the follow up appointments with hope and belief that oh it's ok she'll have treatment again and that will be that. She went into hospital and had lung surgery spent several days in hospital recovering (she was 77) and after being discharged from hospital "because hospital was doing my head in..the nurses and doctors are nice but it's so bloody boring" (mums exact words) went to stay with my sister and her husband for a few weeks while she recovered fully. Everything was going well, yet again it looked like the amazing doctor's/nurses/surgeons that work for our NHS had done there job (Again) but then on a visit to mum's specialist we recieved the deverstating news that the cancer had spread it was now in her right lung and mum was given a terminal diognosis. Me and my sister sat there in stunned disbelief nothing was regerstering ..mum god bless her was cool as a cucumber and just said "OK how long?* The specialist said 6-12 months. That was January 2018...mum died on the 28th of April 2018 3 months after having the terminal diognosis. The only relief I have out of this whole journey was that mum had no pain when she was given the terminal diognosis pain relief was discussed and in mum's final months, because of the morphine and oramorf she just pretty much slept all the time waking up when her carers came in at 8am and 8pm to give her her medication and to put her on her oxygen (she was on oxygen 12 hours a day because of the COPD and only having 1 lung) I know it's nearly 2 years later and people say to me "Oh get a grip it was 2 years ago pull yourself together" but honestly it feels like it was yesterday. When my mum died i not only lost my mum but the very bestest friend i had ever had in my life because there were complications with my birth and after me she couldn't have anymore children I was special to mum, not that she didn't love all her kids (I have one brother and sister) because she adored us all but because i was the sensative one and the closest to mum she always felt that she had to protect me which she did for 43 years (i'm now 45) and i honestly feel lost and what scares me is all I can think about at the moment is being with her because although my family and friends try life just feels so empty without her. I just needed to say all this in a safe place where I wouldn't be judged. Thank you all for listening and wish you all love and peace x
