My Nan

Hi, I’m new here, I haven’t posted or read much yet but I spoke to Macmillan earlier on the phone who suggested I do this. I lost my Nan on May 11th 2019 to high grade non Hodgkin lymphoma, she was stage 4b. Nan has only been sick for a total of 6 weeks before she passed away. She was the glue to our family. I’m finding it so hard to talk about her. I can’t talk about her to my family because all I want to do is cry, I can’t accept she’s gone, I am struggling so much to come to terms with this. I was 7 months pregnant when she passed away and have since had a beautiful baby girl who is now 11 weeks old. 

Nan started to feel unwell and was admitted to hospital on March 29th and passed away 2 weeks after being diagnosed with NHL. The day she was meant to start chemo was the day the doctors told us there was nothing more they could do, she was just too sick, she passed away 3 days later, comfortably and surrounded by her family. How does this happen so quickly? She was only just 72 and she was so fit and healthy before all this! The cancer already pretty much all over her body, she was on dialysis 3 times a week, she was just so so sick. 

i miss her so much, all I want to do is talk to her, tell her how my day was. I wanted her so badly to still be here to meet her first great granddaughter. It’s been 4 months without her and the pain is still the same as the day she left us, but I’m hiding it and it’s not healthy, but I don’t know how to start talking about her. I thought this might help me start my grieving process. 

Thank you for taking the time to read