lost my dad in May and last weekend my father in law both to lung cancer I moved in with dad for his last two weeks of life then returned home to carry on with supporting my lovely father in law as we had been to every appt and treatment together for the past two years and grown very close. I have spent every day and evening with him for past six weeks as he was having moments of psychosis and I was the only one he wanted. I found him last Saturday morning he had had a massive internal bleed and I tried to resuscitate him on the advise from the ambulance service despite knowing it was too late I’m devastated and blaming myself I left at midnight the night before and I had a bad feeling I know it’s not my fault but I’m a complete mess has anyone had counselling and how long did it take to get an appointment thanks for any advise x my sister in law is staying at his house and each day that passes the house becomes emptier and this is the hardest part for me I know it has to be done but we haven’t even had funeral yet and walking around seeing things that have been there for years and years like photos disappear is heartbreaking we have mentioned it but it hasn’t made a difference I realise this may be her way of dealing with things but having these things around for a bit longer would have been a comfort she lives miles away and is rushing to get stuff done before she goes home I think even thrown away cards my husband made as a child and old letters.
