I feel so alone.

Hey,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandma.  It hurts so much.  I lost my nan 18 years ago and I still think of her every day. The words sound shallow but you do get to the point where you can think of her and smile and learn to live again. Shell always be with you. I have never prayed to God, I talk to my nan and I know that she hears me.

Be kind to yourself. You're not alone sweetheart  xxx  

Hi Lamata, 

Thank you for getting back to me, it just feels so not real at the minute, i mean we've had her funeral but i don't think i got the closure i needed because it all went by so quickly. 

I'm trying to do normal things, but whenever something happens, i feel like ive lost my rock, and my advisor, she always listened to me, and never ever judged me, she would just let me ramble on and would then give her advice. 

I can imagine her now looking down on me, saying get on with it, think on don't cry. Her last words to me before she deteriorated were don't get upset. I just really hurts.

Hope x

Hi hope,

Just because you've had the funeral  doesn't mean you get closure lovely. You're on autopilot leading up to the funeral and now I'm guessing many people expect you to be your normal self when nothing is normal anymore! 

Be kind to yourself, it's going to take time. I remember the first year was the hardest with all the 'firsts' like Christmas and birthdays. You won't just wake up one day and say to yourself 'today I am going to move on', itll just happen over time!

She sounds like she was an amazing lady! 

Loads of hugs coming your way

Jo

Xxxxx

Hi Hope,

I am so sorry for your loss, and that you are feeling alone. I have been having the feelings of loneliness recently. I have a lot of people around me, yet still, feel so alone. My relationship with my Mum was different from anything else I've ever experienced. She was a rock, she was there when I needed her, she knew when I was upset before I said a word and now that has gone. It's irreplaceable. It sounds like you are experiencing something similar. I know grief is different for everyone and I'm not trying to guess how you feel, just I sense there are similarities between us. 

I've spent a good few days crying. She passed 18 months ago, but these are the first feelings of being alone that I've felt. 

I'm similar to you in the sense that there isn't anyone to talk to and I don't know who to talk. I fear that when I do talk, I won't know what to say but I feel like there is so much inside that needs to come out.  

I hope you can feel a sense of peace, whether that's during the hard moments or when you are remembering your Grandma fondly. 

Best wishes,

KW