My partner of 35 yrs was diagnosed with lung cancer on May 16th and every piece of our lives was turned upside down.We dealt with one blow after another and refused to allow cancer to destroy the amazing love that we had for each other.We had dreams,plans to retire we never thought we would be cancelling our holiday in July and planning his funeral.He passed away peacefully in my arms July 10th,it took just 8 weeks to destroy our lives.He was so brave and his love for me spurs me on each morning I wake up,but god its hard.We planned the funeral together,he chose everything,we got it out of the way so we could try and grab every second we had left.No.one could have predicted that he only had 8 weeks,I just cannot get my head around it.I feel totally destroyed,we only had each other,a couple who grew up together and was always by each others side,we never went out separately or spent one night apart.I am faced with my life if you can call it that,without him.I am coming against this stigma of living with someone as it was both our choices not to marry,we had no kids,we were happy as we were.I cannot get bereavement benefit as we are not married,36 yrs in sept I have been with this amazing man and yet I am being told I am not his next of kin,its just one cruel blow after another.He asked me one morning to get a puppy so I wouldn,t be lonely ,he knew he was going to die,but never wanted to know how long he had left,everyone assumed he had months. I feel so ill 3 weeks on,I have found his puppy and will bring him home soon as the funeral is not till another 2 weeks.The care he recieved was outstanding and support for us both was always there.It's not until you need the NHS you realise just how great it is.As I face my life without my soulmate I am thankful he went peacefully and I had 35 yrs of happiness,love and loyalty from this amazing man.Because we never married,I find it insulting that I am faced with such negative comments,I know its the law,but I think it should change.Thankfully we made wills or his estate would have gone to a family member we only saw at family funerals,how is this fair? We have both worked since we was 15 years old.
Why can't people like me be accepted in law and not have to go through all this extra pain.So our puppy will hopefully make each new morning easier to face,and my advice,if your'e not married,make a will and save up for your funerals as you will not get any finacial support,absolutely nothing.
