4 months from his diagnosis, my amazing, gentle and kind father passed away a few hours ago. Im 19 and about to start university. I have never had to grieve for a close family member before, not even grandparents. I have two questions.
People who weren't present for the death and chose to see/not to see the body, do you regret your choice? I dont know whether I want to see it, whether I'll regret not seeing it.
How long roughly did you take to grieve? I.e how long before you stopped waking up sad, and went a whole day without feeling sadness about it
Whilst I appreciate people trying to help, please dont give me the "everyone grieves differently speech", I know this, I am simply looking for a rough idea of what to expect
I currently feel numb, i have been grieving for a while since I was told it was days/weeks rather than months. I want to feel sad, i have diagnosed depression/anxiety so I feel exhausted constantly, and I feel terrible for this but I just want to sleep, not deal with the aftermath. I want to carry on as normal, my friends are throwing a surprise party for my birthday tomorrow and I still want to go, to get normalcy. I feel awful about myself, completely unempathetic. I feel awful for feeling as mentally healthy as I ever have, when i should be as bad as ive ever been, at a time ive been dreading since childhood.
Sorry for the vent, thank you
