The 16th of July, to many is just a normal day. But to me it stung a lot today.
I clearly remember, a year ago today, bounding into the hospital. (I can remember every little detail. (times, what I was wearing, the staff, what my mum was wearing) and being hit with the news, instead of planning her discharge as planned. She was rushed being rushed back into ICU and we were told within hours, it was not good news. 12 days later she passed away.
It seems like yesterday. Its still raw. I may function. But its bloody hard. I sometimes can't believe it happened. My mum died of cancer. It's like it happened to someone else.
I miss her sooooo much, I know what she wanted for me and I know she would be super proud of us all. But not gonna lie, its been my most testing year ever. I feel some days are tougher than others. I just can't believe cancer has blown my world apart. I feel robbed. But I know I was lucky to have 38yrs of unconditional love and support.
Today is one of them days, when it's OK not to he OK. Xxx
Your post really hits the nail on the head , a year, a year where has it gone yet it still feels so raw for you and it will be not surprising at all you remember everything, every little detail. I have a while to go before its one year since my friend died, but I did for fill another promise, albeit an expensive one. One of my passions is photography and it kind of goes hand in hand with my painting really, but I wanted to expand my photography expertise as affordable as possible so I have a new camera and some new zoom lens and got an amazing bundle of accessories with it at a great price because its not the latest model etc I didn't care about that I just wanted a good entry level dslr camera. I heard my friend whispering go for go for it. Its little things like this that help us I suppose deal with a lose but when its an anniversary its very painful and you know it doesn't matter what anyone says "its OK not to be OK".
Sending you a big hug
_GBear Xxxx
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