Hi
Not sure if posting in the right group or not really.
On the 5th April this year by dad passed away from lung cancer, we got a diagnosis of termini cancer in November 2018 although it wasn't lung then.
Mum is in her last few weeks (possibly months but I think that is being hopeful), also diagnosed this year with terminal lung cancer.
The day dad died was the day mum came home with the intentions of seeing her days out at home. She is now not able to move from bed due to the pain, sleepy on the morphine she is on and (this will sound wrong) but mentally with it (dad wasn't and boy was that easier).
I know I am not really starting to deal with dad's death as it has all been about keeping mum safe and at home. We are getting no help from our local community teams, both palliative care teams say they are full capacity and cause mum's not end of life yet (only because she is eating and drinking which is only cause the carer is holding the drink and feeding her). So many different teams have said about getting a hospital bed but I don't think anyone is committed to taking the lead. On top of this all there are massive changes in my job, people have been trying to stab me in the back where I am not at work all the time and someone I thought was a close friend of 6 and half years, who was my manager at work now wants nothing to do with me but is meeting the people in work she always said to me and someone else she couldn't stand them.
The hospital mum and dad come under has sent me a leaflet for wessex cancer support. They have o e Thursday a month I could go to for help. I have contacted Cruise bereavement who haven't come back. I have emailed Maggies having seen it on her and there is no local center and they aren't taking anyone on online till September.
I have no idea what to do but I know I am done and if I didn't wake up tomorrow morning it wouldn't have an issue. I am already in the highest dose I can have on my current antidepressants, my doctor is weary of changing them incase things happen when I am in between levels in me..
Mum paid her taxes when she worked, dad paid his and fought for his country, I pay more than my fair share in taxes yet it feels like there is no on to help either me or my mum and I feel I am failing mum..
