My father died from Prostate Cancer on Wednesday.

Hi Samie

I am very sorry to hear about your dad and this has brought to this site and whilst you are very welcome I wish that circumstances could have been different when our paths crossed.

Being a member of this group brings you in contact with many people who are just, as you are, starting out on this journey and also may others who have been travelling along the path for some time but each member has something in common all have lost a dear one and find it difficult to understand why it has happened. It is not easy to give tips on how to cope as we all handle grief differently but what we do know it is good to talk as it brings things out in the open and this site is a very safe place to come along to day or night and let your feelings out.

It helps to talk about (as in your case) about your dad whether it be to recall the good times you shared or simply to have a rant or rave about how you feel, we are here to listen to you and give you help and support but never to judge. We understand that each day is different some you will feel strong and you get on with everything other days we know you will only feel like crying and this is perfectly normal. There is no right or wrong way to come to terms with the passing of a loved one and it is to be expected that you may experience a mixture of feelings such as shock or numbness, sadness, being anxious or agitated, exhausted, relief, guilt, anger, you may feel calm or lacking in purpose or feel resentful and be asking why you and all are normal feelings which can hit you at anytime.

We go through what is known as the 5 stages of grief -

Denial. Anger, Bargaining. Depression and Acceptance.

The 5 stages do not follow the same order for everyone and you may not experience each stage, some stages will take longer to pass as unfortunately grief does not have a set timescale and each one of us handles it differently all I can offer you at this time is our friendship and to tell you that each one of us will do our best by sharing our experiences in the hope that we can be there for you whenever you need us, we are always here to listen to you. It really is good to talk and we are good listeners.

Please keep in touch.

I'm Ian and I'm the Bodach and (in the words of Fraser) I'm listening.

Ian