Dreading New Year

How is it our mums were still so strong and positive, even in their darkest of hours.

I asked my mum a week before she died, how I would continue without her and her answer ‘you will, I know you’ 

Remarkable women! And the best part, they gave us these qualities too. (I just need to dig deeper to find them) xx

My mother said a similar things to us you will get through this. I'm so grateful now we had a chance to have these talks so I can also draw strength from them when I'm struggling. Missing her so much now....

Remarkable, strong and brave ladies, brave beyond imagination.

Take care both hope you have a restful night sleep x x x

What amazing ladies, strong and the best mothers to the end. Even thou i dont feel very lucky at the moment. I know i am to have had a beautiful amzing mother. Like wise i will dig deep and find the strength in all she taught me. Thank you ladies. Its so good to talk and share with people, who sadly understand. Hugs and the warmest wishes to you both. Xxx 

.....and thank you to you both. Part of the struggle is no one else gets it. It’s like it’s not happened to anyone at work or around me (which is a good thing) and no friends around me know what to say. People just look at me awkwardly like I’m some exhibit at a museum.  I know we’re all on a different journey but it seems you both understand the sheer sadness and that ache of missing someone so much - today I feel it. 

Sending you lots of love and hugs - totally here if any support is needed xxxx

Thanks also from me it does help to know there are people out there who understand. People who haven't lost a parent cannot even imagine. I've found out the friends I thought would be supportive and would have been there for me have not been. You certainly find out who your real friends are  Ofcourse the person I would have wanted to speak to about it all would have been my mother.

I get the looks too, sometimes it makes me feel like running away from it. It was the same when my mother was ill  she was in a wheelchair for the last couple of months and some people would openly stare and ask the stupidest of things. In the end my mother would tell us not to worry about what other people were thinking. So I'm going to try and take that advice.

It's so hard missing someone this much.....

Love to you both, thinking of you today

X x x

Hello to you all, 

Thank you for posting, you maybe don’t know the strength you are giving to others in the understanding x x 

I hope you all get today over with. My mum is two years gone in February 2017, I find that hard to believe. Longest and shortest two years. I think last New Years Eve I tried to just block it out as I did with Christmas, I got the false face on. 

But this Christmas Day I asked my mum for help and she gave it, I Appreciated the time with my family. I think I will ask her tonight again.

I wish when my mum was with us I had been less fearful and worried about the future. I would have been able to enjoy our time more. I’m going to try approaching life in that way going forward in the future. Take care all of you tonight, remember how much they loved you and always will love you. 

Thank you for your lovely message it means a lot. 

I'm glad you found the strength to get through this Christmas Day. I truly believe that my mother is also giving us strength to keep us strong. I also believe she is still watching over us and one day I will see her again. It's what keeps me going.

I get upset when I think about how much I took my mother for granted before she got ill, arguing over silly things even though we always forgot about it the next day and never held grudges . I only started telling my mother I loved her when we found out she was ill. We knew we loved each other but never told each other before cancer. Then I think at least we had the chance this year to tell each other how much we loved each other and how thankful I was for what she did for me and my two children. 

So like you I will approach my future with a new outlook with telling the people closest to me how much they mean to me because life is simply too short.

Love to you all 

Louise x x x

I don’t think it mattered that you didn’t say I love you before the cancer. Mothers and daughters have such a wonderful and unique bond, that you mum would have known how you felt about her even if you hadn’t said those words. I think that is what I miss the most - that unconditional love. That one person that always had your back, no matter what. 

I’m glad we may be helping others in posting our thoughts. What has happened can make you feel so very isolated - even if you have other family and friends around you. 

I too believe my mum is still around. It might sound strange to other people but my dad and sister believe she shines down when theres a rainbow. It’s her way of just telling us she’s watching over us. I guess it’s whatever brings you comfort. 

Today is a hard day. Like Christmas, I will be glad for it to be over. Thank you Upwards77 for posting too - it brings some comfort to know that some time has passed for you and that you have no doubt experienced (probably still experiencing) a lot of the emotions we are feeling. 

Lots of love to all.

Kate xxxx

I'm dreading it too. I think it takes far more effort than others (or ourselves sometimes) realise to get through the Christmas season; even if you have a nice time, by the time New Year rolls around you just feel emotionally done in. It's tiring without grief and all it's complexities. The poster who mentioned the aches, pains and tiredness of grief was spot on, it can utterly exhaust you at times. Try to do something for yourself if you can, however small. Thinking of those who are struggling x

Hey everyone...

Me too .Lost my mum a year ago although the pain and sadness has got worse. God knows what i was doing last Christmas.Its all such a blur now. Miss her terribly my heart hurts.Not had the best few days. Christmas day at mums in hindsight was a mistake we all tried but i think next year we will go out. Tonight I am just staying in. Boxing day was ok as had family and same day after. 

Love to anyone struggling and believe you are not alone in feeling like this today/tonight or any other day of the year. Our mums were the best xxxx