Dreading New Year

Hi Sunshine,

I get what you mean about bickering over silly things and then thinking my mother has died. I hate the fact life is continuing as normal when there is nothing normal about, everything has dramatically changed forever but still I go to work  clean the house, take kids to school etc and my mother has been gone for nearly 3 months almost impossible to believe that I have not seen or heard her for this long I find this so hard to get my head around. It's just crap understatement I know.

But like your mother I know my mother would be so glad and happy that we are trying our best to put one foot in front of the other and keep going as best we can.

I find people don't even ask how I am anymore, which to be honest I'm glad about because how the hell do you answer that. 

I know I may repeat myself, something my mother always did but your mother is with you and will always be part of your life in everything you do.

Please don't apologise for your post if we can take our masks off here where can we lol.

Enjoy your music Sunshine, I find music really helps my mother loved music also. Hope your partner feels better soon.

Take care x x x

Hey all

Usual resonance with the posts.

I miss my Mum so much it hurts. A desperate ache, a longing for something and someone you know you can never have again. Sometimes I’m “ok”, others I wonder how anyone ever gets over a loss. And, yes, life just carries on and we with it. But sometimes I find myself sitting and watching that world carry on around me like some kind of out of body experience - I’m there but I’m not. It’s all just happening around me but I’m not part of it. Probably not making much sense...

None of you should apologise for being miserable or repeating yourself or anything. Say how you feel when you need to. It’s good to share and it’s better than holding in feelings. We all need an outlet and for various reasons that’s not always possible with those we have around us. 

Hope you’re all doing ok.

xx

SPu - you are making a lot of sense. The world carries on and yet we find ourselves stuck in the grief bubble. I see people who still have their mum’s and just wish my mum was still here.  Mum went so quick in the end, that me and the family didn’t get the chance to say a proper goodbye, I like a lot of people on here, think how and why did this have to happen to mum, the loss of your mum, really does turn your world upside down. Visiting this site is an outlet for me, where I can say how I really feel. Hope you managed to get through today ok xx

Hi all,

Just doing another check in to see how week has been? Hope the sun is shining with you all ️️

kate x

The weather has been pretty sunny round here too . Its been rather a tiring week for me actually and been struggling with fatigue a lot at the moment, I wouldn't mind but I have been sleeping well too so you would thibk I be well rested. Been doing some more pastel drawing

Just trying different techniques and testing things out, I find doing my pastel drawing is easier to do in my room as its not got the best light for painting really at this time of year unless your lucky, the angle of the sun is getting better for good light conditions. But I do enjoy my pastels including I have just invested in a good set of pastels to be able to do a range of different things. I went swimming Wednesday night did around 30 lengths but it was a struggle but glad I did it. Swimming is great form of exercise without being to much impact on your joints. Brought myself a new orchid today to replace my previous one that died, its currently in flower. 

I like the colour but also the shape of the flower stem's.I got it in memory of my friend and I hope I do better then I did with the last one I got which was in a pot my friend had I got me for my birthday. So my orchid is a symbol of him.

Hey all

it’s been sunny but a tad chilly still...nice to see some blue skies though and start to believe spring could be coming!

GBear good to hear you managed to get some swimming in. Although I cannot compare with your health issues, one thing we all share on this thread is knowing the intense ongoing frustrations with being exhausted but unable to sleep properly so we can at least empathise. Your pastel drawing looks very relaxing and the orchid is beautiful-they are tricky to keep going though so don’t despair at the one you replaced.

I have my Mum’s tree planting tomorrow-she had a woodland burial so you choose a tree to note the spot and eventually it will all turn into lovely woodland. I have already reserved my spot. Could be an emotional day...

What’s everyone else up to?

Xx

Hi ,

Sounds like tomorrow will be a very tough day, but the tree planting sounds a beautiful idea and tribute to your Mum, I have heard about woodland Burial's but don't know much about them. I hope the weather will shine for you and hopefully not too cold a wind. Its amazing for a February day its been so nice here,  grated the wind was chilly especially in the morning. But can't complain better then it being cold and wet.

Yes the pastels and doing art in general does at least help to relax me.

Sending best wishes for tomorrow

Hi All,

Thanks for checking up on us Kate. How has your week been?

GBear thanks for sharing your picture with us I love puffins. Well done on the swimming I'm hoping to start back myself I find it very relaxing just to get into the pool and try and switch off from the thoughts swirling in my head.

SPu will be thinking of you tomorrow with the tree planting I think that a woodland burial is a lovely idea and to think of it all becoming a woodland in time. I find it hard to visit my mother's resting place a Crematorium. I've only been twice since she passed away.  

Hoping you are all ok x x x

Hey guys, 

Kate - thanks for checking in, not too bad. How are you? Sunshine is much welcomed. Been out and about. Xx

Been dreaming about my mum alot. I then wake up with a jolt. When I'm dreaming I can hear her calling my name over and over, cheerful. Like teas ready. clear as day. Oh what id do for this to be real Xx 

Gbear - love the pastel drawing it's beautiful. My mum loved to draw. So do I, (I'm not great, but love to doodle) its very relaxing. Xx Swimming sounds good too. I'm going to start. They do a candlelight swim at local leisure centre, might try that. 

Spu  - awww will be thinking of you. Sounds beautiful way of remembering your mum. Gentle hugs. Xx 

Lou12 - hope your ok, and Sun shining with you too.  xx

I'm away to a hotel for the weekend, for a family party. Will be lovely, to see everyone. Of course will be strange without mum. It is already, we would be comparing outfits and getting ready, sending what's app of hair / brows. I had my brows done today. I message my dad he was a bit confused bless him. Xx "why are you sending me pictures of your eyebrows" made me giggle. Guess it was mum who just liked to see. Xx It will be hard, but will follow her wishes and  FUN, like she told us too. Xx 

Chat soon xx

Enjoy your party Sunshine, hope you have a fab time! Lol at the eyebrows. Your mother I'm sure will be watching over you all.

The swimming by candlelight sounds amazing very relaxing wish they did that with us. Only thing would be I'd be scared I'd fall asleep

Hope you're ok Sunny43 

Take care all x x x