I want my mum back...

I lost my mum on the 27th of April and its not getting any easier i cant put all my feelings on my family as its not fair but i dont want to be here any more i know that sounds selfish but i cant cope 

It won’t be fine overnight. It will take time and it won’t all be in a straight line, you’ll go up and down and turn around but it does get easier. Give yourself time. Talk to someone, it doesn’t need to be family. Call the Samaritans on 116 123 and get it out on someone who will listen.

grief can be very powerful but it is temporary.

i dont feel it will ever be fine again i always said i dont know how people cope without their mums we lived together did everything together ate shopping watched the soaps ect im now doing this on my own whilst everyone else is getting on with life 

Thankyou for replying means alot 

Maybe it won’t be “fine” but it will get easier. People do have a weird unspoken expectation that grief is a week then back to normal. Other customs expect longer, in the Jewish faith you mourn for a year, queen victoria wore black until she died. There isn’t a set timeframe but a week won’t cut it for sure. I lost my mum 2 years in July and it’s still not “fine” but it’s easier and life without her isn’t as empty. It’s like you take her and you put her in your heart and it starts to heal. That moment when you stop looking outside for her and start looking inward. I know what she’d say and I feel she talks to me sometimes, changing my mind on things based on what I think she’d say. I still miss her terribly but at the same time I feel her very close to me. It’s not just memories we keep of a person, it’s a part of them that stay with us. You can tell it lives within you because it’s not just things you remember them say, it’s new things you know they’d say.

it will feel hard and in a way (in a really quite awful way) it’s good because things that don’t hurt aren’t important and she was. The grief you feel is the size of your love for her. Someone told me that when mum died and it didn’t really help but it feels true.

however long it takes your grief will change and the pain you feel will change and one day you will reach out to someone who feels the way you do now and you will tell them the same. 

I wish you peace, time and an easy journey. X

I don't know, what words I can to say. Grief is so individual and everyone is at on their own journey. What I would say is theres no right or wrong. Do it your way and be kind to yourself.Gentle hugs to you all X

Caity86, beautiful words. Xxx I can relate to your words, so much. My beautiful mum, died 9 months ago. My world shattered. What has kept me going, is what she would want for me. I knew and loved her so much. She will always be a big part of me. The big waves still come, but the calmer times in-between have increased. XXX Thank you for sharing. Xx 

And sending you, all of you the calm wishes. XX and peace. Xx

Courtney my heart goes out to you. XXX in these toughest times. Xx  I agree seek some support. The Samaritans, Macmillan, your GP. It is important to talk. Xx sending gentle hugs xx

I just dont see the point in life any more i have anxiety and depression myself i cant talk to people on the phone or even join a group where you have to see people face to face i only got diagnosed from the doctor in october that was only because mu mum took me and supported me through it