It's been a while. My head is fucked. I can't see through the tears and the darkness. I have messed up so much recently, thinking I am better and more able than I am. I'm not.
I still haven't been able to find work. I am relying on others and I feel their patience is running thin. I hate this - I have no use, no purpose, no reason to live. My car has been in the garage for a month and will cost more than I…
It is the worst feeling in the world that the only person who would be able to help me through this is the person I am mourning. I miss my fiance more than anything, and I am so incredibly lonely. I have family and others around me offering to give support but it is mainly empty words; "I am here for you" - no you're not. They would not be there for me if I had explained every little thing on my mind, all the hardships…
You hated steak. And tonight I'm sitting with your family about to enjoy a steak dinner, and I feel terrible about it. I feel like we are 'making the most of you being gone - I know that's what you should be doing but I don't feel ready to make something so positive of this yet.
I never thought a day of shopping could be so dreary. I know a funeral is to celebrate your life but I'm overwhelmed with the feeling that it's wrong. I've ordered some dresses in your favourite colour, I'm hoping you'd love me in them - just for a different reason than why I brought them.
I'm missing you so incredibly badly, you always accompanied me shopping and when walking around the shopping centre…
Dear Dom,
You passed away this morning and tonight is my first night sleeping without you. I feel lost. This bed is too big for just me, and I'm sleeping on your side of the bed to try to feel closer to you. I think if I can't relax I'll get your hoody and try to cuddle up with it. I miss you so much my love, it's crazy. It is truly insane that all this has happened. I feel like I'm stuck in a dream, and you will…
