can someone help me with the maths

1 minute read time.

well people ( in general family, friends , medical professionals ) are now talking to me like i already have 1 foot in the grave , not a plesant time and doesn't fill me with confidence . everybody seems to have that low , depressed tone to their voice and are suddenly talking to me like i'm 3 . i have a little problem thinking at the momment , probably due to lack of sleep ..or just being thick !

anyway can someone help me with the maths ...when i saw the surgen in the week he reccomends that i have complete removal of bladder , bowel and vagina ...by doing this it will give me a 1 in 5 chance of being cancer free ..but that also gives me an 80% chance the cancer will come back ..or i could have chemo ..i've had chemo twice before , both times it hasn't worked ..but of coarse theres different types to try ..if i have chemo i will have 6 - 12 months at the most ..probably . people as mentioned above , are now back tracking and saying i should maybe go the chemo route ...i don't think the sums add up ....had a visit from a palitive nurse today ..does that already mean i'm circling the drain ( a penny phrase) ?

i feel quite well ... ..just had a phone call from the g.p saying how sorry she was , deep depressed tone etc ...and asking me if i thought surgery was really worth it if the odds are so small ..what do you guys think ...?

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Whatever decision you take, you can be confident that your friends here will support you all the way. I hope you find some comfort from all the messages already posted. Sending you love and support. ValX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thinking of you sammieo and supporting you in what ever decision you make. Lindaj xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Oh Sammie, 1 in 5 is 20 in a hundred, that's a lot of people but really statistics don't apply to individuals. When I got my diagnosis -stage 4 bowel cancer- I said I wouldn't have treatment as I am terrified  of hospitals but to everyone's surprise- mine included- I had surgery which removed 1/2 my liver 16 inches of bowel and a gall bladder. I still have lung mets but I would have died by now without surgery. Sammie, you have a chance, otherwise they wouldn't even offer you surgery. the hushed tones of nurses & docs show their fear not yours. You are brave and young and strong but ultimately the choice is yours.I wish you strength whatever you decide. We are all behind you.

    Love Jen XX

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    thankyou for all your kind words ..and the thing is i don't feel that bad . i don't understand everyones worry and that in itself is frightening ..i'm thinking do they know something i don't .have i got 1 1/2 feet in the grave ?

    jen i hadn't thought of it like that 20 in 100 is quite good isn't it . everyone's concerned that i will be making this life changing decision for nothing ...and the thought the pure thought of waking up and my body being disfigured is sickening but then so is the thought of dieing . going to see the stoma nurse on wednesday ..told the pallitive nurse i just don't want to hear about it i don't want to know anything about peeing in a bag or watching  my crap come out a bag ...it disgusts me and i don't even know if i will get to the operating theatre out of pure fear .and of coarse they may open me up and decide its too much to do ...but thankyou all you have helped me loads   xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Your right not to think of after the op Sam . You have a good chance to live and what can be more important than anything they throw at you. In my thoughts and prayers as always. Linda xx