Paul's fight

I have just lived through 72 hours from hell, I hate cancer and the devastation it has caused. I am so angry with it for ruining my life, my future, my everything. I love my man so much I just want to be with him :'(

The past 3 days have been so horrible. I have text him, because I forgot. I so desperately want my beautiful man back. I never knew what real pain was until Friday night. :'( :'(

Well, here I, less than 8 weeks after diagnosis, grieving for the poor beautiful man I gave my life to. Paul passed away peacefully last night at approx 11.55pm. The time wasn't right, we had so much longer together. My only saving grace is that he was in no pain. He simply had a small seizure, took a few short breaths and then he was gone. I am utterly flattened, deflated, I love him so much. People keep saying he was…

Another bittersweet day... Today I collected my gorgeous man from the hospital.  They have sent him home to die... How is it even possible that 8 weeks ago we were planning our future, our house is Malta, our careers, etc..... and now we are talking funerals and after-life plans..

The Macmillan nurse I met today was lovely, helpful and kind.  Don't get me wrong, the other one I met probably is too, but she is the one that…

This weekend was amazing, this is why its so hard to accept todays news.....

One of our dear friends brought us a meal, with candles, tablecloth etc to the hospital, for us to celebrate our pending anniversary.  It created a memory I will have for the rest of my life and the smile it created on Paul's face will live with me forever.

I love you darling with all my heart. Don't leave me, not yet, we are not ready.…