2011 nearly 2012 or is it Victorian Times?

3 minute read time.

Tonight I am very angry, so angry I dont know where to start.

My husband was supposed to have a cafeter in yesterday, when I left today he still hadnt got one.

He was soaking wet and had been for some time when I got there. He is semi-awake, sometimes he trys to get a bottle but doesnt manage.

Because he is very uncomfortable to be moved around, he is naked lying on his bed with just a sheet over him. He is in and out of sleep,but trys to use a bottle, no curtains around because as I said hes not really with it.. He is in a 6 bedded ward! Where the hell is the Dignity in that? If he knew........

He did manage a couple of sentences today about the Dr telling him about his scan results and that its bad news,that the cancer is in his bones etc. and that if I was in before he went off Duty he would tell me too. I wish I hadnt told his own Dr not to tell him the implications of the raised calcium in his blood, his Dr. and I present would have been so much kinder.

Its a good job that my husbands lovely Dr explained all to me on Thursday before he went in an Ambulance to Hospital. I did not see the Dr at the hospital needless to say.

My husbands Dr had said that it would be safer for my husband to be in Hospital over the week-end as I wouldnt be able to contact anyone as its another Bank Holiday. If he was at home, he would be clean and dry.

I went to the Nurses desk,and said where is  is the Dignity in that, that is not right. Its not fair on him or the other patients. Yes we know, this is the Dr you need to speak to, but she didnt know he needed one! She then told me this is the problem at week-ends there are only 2 Registras on for the whole of the Cancer Wards, they had to deal with the poorly ones first, and then get around to the ones like my husband.

I have even been asked today wether I will be having my husband home or will he be going into a Nursing Home. Hang on a minute, the roller coaster is going far too fast now, I am struggling to catch up. I was still hoping he was going to be able to walk out of there, be alright for a while and.......

I am writing this as its a New Years Eve that I know I will never forget. I am sitting at home with just me and the dogs, hoping so much that there will still be time to make some more happier memories.

This is 2011, very nearly 2012. What on earth happend to the sick and elderly being treated with Respect, Kindness, allowing them the Dignity they deserve. Nurses and Drs do not have the time because they are filling in forms, they are under staffed etc etc. Its wrong its so very wrong.

What ever happened to the basic principles of Nursing.

I am not sure that I should have put this on the general site, perhaps it should be on Carers site, but why are we all allowing this  to happen. One Nurse said today, I would do it myselft if I could, but I cant,we have to wait for a Dr. My husband would have his dignity, he would be clean and dry .

My thoughts and best wishes to eveyone out there with cancer and their carers, on this New Years Eve.

respect     xxxxx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello woman in red.

    You stole my words, that has always been my motto, growing old disgracefully!!

    Another one is my children telling me to act my age and not my shoe size......

    Have a good nights sleep, and hope you get out of those pj's tomorrow before they walk on their own to the washing machine.

    Love

    Respect

    xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi there,

    just popped in to send you some love  and a huge huge hug to see you through the next few days in case I'm not about.... I have got to go a work thing- a retreat meeting in a conference centrel in the middle of nowhere so might not get on here much for a couple of days. Though i know you get plenty of support in the carers section or whatever it is called... You know where i mean... anyway...

    I always aimed to grow old rather than up and to do it disgracefully.... Thanks to cancer, the growing old isn't so certain anymore  so I am damn well going to make sure however 'old' it is, that it is disgraceful and fun but most of all full of love...

    So, you take courage and strength from a silly Little My who is right behind you growing older disgracefully but hugging you all the way

    And whenever you get a wobble, remember there are lots of us on this journey  walking right beside you holding your hand (or behind you with a bit of door, or giggling in front of you showing you the flowers and the bugs)  

    Take care and wishing you courage for the times ahead.

    Big big hug (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Respect))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Little My xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    My dear Little My

    Thought as you didnt go with me to the Hospital today, that you would like to be the first to know that

    MY HUSBAND HAS NOW GOT A CATHETER..............................................................................

    But we all knew that he would didn't we!

    2 Nurses told the sister today about Saturday, and he, yes he, took me away to discuss. It was a really good discussion we had, and he said as we all know that none of it should have happened.

    I even told him that the Macmillan website users who kept me sane on Saturday all knew he would have a catheter today!

    It also gave me an opportunity to discuss fast tracking to come home, and other things I needed to know.One of the Nurses had shaved my husband today, and the lucky guy had a bed bath!!! No wonder he had a smile on his face when I went in today.

    Told him she was better at shaving that he is, cause she hadnt knicked his face any where!

    As he had such a smooth face, I told them I was closing the curtains and making the most of it! I did close the curtains.....

    I do intend that whatever happens in the next little while, he has a smile on his face as often as possible, that is my aim and I will do it...........

    Support from Carers is one thing Little My, no dis-respect intended to Carers. Support from you is something else. Thank you, you know exactly what I mean.

    Bless you and take care of yourself on your work thingy!!! Don't go over-doing it, take some clean pj's cause the other ones have walked off to the washing machine. And be careful some of your comments are not quite as silly as normal, you are getting me worried!

    Tale care

    Lots of love from this nutter to you

    Respect

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Respect,

    Still write that letter of complaint, and tell them in no uncertain terms what you thought of your Husbands treatment.   All the Best and Good Luck.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi respect,

    I have been away for a few days to a place where I have no internet access or phone signal so wasn't able to keep up with events.

    So pleased to hear that your actions have at last resulted in some progress for  hubby, and I hope you will soon have him home where he belongs.

    Gosh a bed bath which put a smile on his face! Get suspicious if he asks for that nurse again.

    You are right about the effectiveness of LM's hugs and the real ones are even better, they give you a sort of warm feeling inside.

    Thanks for asking about my results, they were great. The meeting with the oncologist's side kick (SK) went well. I was disappointed when SK said that the after effects of the treatment could last up to 18 months, but that's worth it if we have kicked cancer's arse. When I asked if that meant that my  increasing weight could be put down to that, SK replied that it was due to overeating andf not enough excercise. Why do medics have to be so predictable!

    Here's all power to your elbow (or whatever else you use) to put a smile on hubby's face

    Love and big hugs,

    Colin xxx