Lately weekends are just a trial and emphasise the crapness of this disease and life in general. On Saturday he wanted to go to the garage where he keeps his Morris Minor and do a little work on it. So he got up, washed and dressed - and that's a chore in itself. It's difficult putting the support stockings on over his swollen leg and both feet. Then he wanted to put his boots on. Tugging, pulling, pushing and squeezing…
I've just come back from the hospice where I had an appointment for complementary therapy assessment. The lady I saw was lovely and recommended I have aromatherapy massage and Indian head massages. She's booked me in for one a week starting next Tuesday. I can have 6 treatments then it's reviewed.
This should help me relax, reduce my stress levels and maybe help me sleep better.
All the therapists are volunteers…
I can rant and moan and people understand
I can post a problem and people come back with solutions
People know what I am going through
I have learnt that people are kind and thoughtful and care about me - a stranger
And tonight in the midst of all the suffering and watching my lovely husband in apin with terminal cancer another person, who has very recently been widowed herself through this cruel and nasty disease…
Toni's slept all day and yesterday was the same. This happened last week too. His pain has been managed and now he has bad nausea but otherwise he feels okay. He worries about how much he is sleeping and of course so do I. It makes life very lonely and last week I started to feel quite depressed. I am quite self aware so pulled myself out of it but it's a thin line between getting along and coping and sinking into depression…
Since I last posted on here Toni has had 4 units of blood transfused as his HB was so low. This has given him some extra energy but he now has pitted odoema in his ankles on top of the swelling in his left leg from the DVT. So this has been getting him down.The nausea is now under control with 3mg of haloperidol every night on top of the cyclizine and his pain is managed so things are improving there.
He is low in spirits…
