Does anyone else feel like this when they are bereaved?

Dear Madge, my thoughts are with you and I wish you strength and peace at this difficult time. Take it a day at a time and cherish the memories.

Love, Joycee xx

Hi Madge

I think I know exactly how you feel

I still feel lost and scared 6 months after Tom's death,and my house still looks the same as the day he left,all his clothes are in the wardrobe his shoes just inside the front door and his toothbrush in the glass by the sink in the bathroom I just cannot bear to move anything.I miss so much being able to touch him and hear him so I spend a lot of time watching holidays and our wedding which we video taped just to see him and hear him,I don't know if I should but I cannot stop.I have just booked to go on a cruise with a friend next April but still don't know that when the time comes if I will be able to go.I think about you often and just hope that things get a little easier for you in time.

love Marianne.xx

Dear Madge

I have seen the greiving from the other side,when I met my husband seventeen years ago he had just lost his late wife to cancer.

I helped him and his sixteen year old daughter through all the various stages of grief,I helped him when he was ready to sort her clothes and take them to a charity shop when he was ready.

Even now seventeen years later I bring flowers into the house on her birthday and the anniversary of her death, it comforts him.

This year it was particulary hard for him I think because he himself was diagnosed with Lung and prostate cancer five years ago,he understands her fears etc and still says could I have done more,like you he gave every minute to caring for her and that will be a comfort one day.

I am thinking of you and hope someone can help you through the bad days,and as yet it is so short a time ago that you lost John.

Thinking of you.

Love and Hugs

Maureen xxx

Hi Madge, not sure there is a right way to do things, think you have to do what is right for you, my dad wanted all my mums things out of the way almost straight away, and can remember when a year later he came to stay with me and opened up  a suitcase that was stuffed full of mums things that I had wanted to keep, he was so pleased and took some home, a friend of my mums whos husband died 26 years ago now still had all his things and often gets in the wardrobe as she can smell him, so think its best to do what helps you and your little dog, great friends arnt they?..xxx  

Almost 6 years later my husbands toothbrush is still in the holder and his work coat hangs exactly where he left it the week before he passed.

It took me 18 months to give his clothes to charity although I still have the last outfit he wore to his grandaughters christening, I still can't part with it.

No way could I watch our wedding video and I find it very hard to look at photo's of the happy times.

I still miss him very much and at times it is still very painful.

Yet I have moved on with my life, I have met someone else another very nice man who loves me dearly and I love him, but it is different.

I feel like I am living in a parallel world.

Cancer is in my life once again only this time it is me.

Thankfully I am NED (no evidence of disease) but it is still very much in my life.

Like Maureens husband I now know exactly how my husband felt but never spoke to me of his feelings and I too wonder if I could have done more.

Madge you will get through this, you will forge a different life for yourself, I know you will.

You  proved how strong you really are during Johns illness.

Sue is right take baby steps at a time. Do not think about the future, let it take care of itself.

It is hard, very hard but so was watching your darling John fade away but you helped John during his illness and for that you can be so very proud of yourself.

All the best Madge Love Julie xxxx