My bags are packed and I'm ready for my holiday tomorrow. I am looking forward to it although it will be bitter sweet because John loved Devon too. I'm sure Pat and I will talk about him a lot while we're away and remember the happy times. Gemma is wondering what's going on and glued to my side most of the time in case I'm planning on leaving her - bless her little heart! All her toys, food. blankets…
I cried a bit this morning - mornings are the worst when I wake up and realise it's not a bad dream and he's really gone. Keeping busy is the answer so I signed and stamped all the letters I'd typed last night informing people of John's death - at least I've made a start but there's still a long list of people to tell (they're not so urgent so they can wait).
Planned to spend the day with…
As a lot of you know, I lost my Beloved John on 22nd August and I feel so lost without him. I'm scared too because I don't know how I'm going to survive without seeing his face or hearing his voice except in my memory. I long to feel his arms around me again and his gentle kisses.
I'm going to have to brace myself soon to look through his papers and sort out his estate which I'm dreading. The darling…
I visited John's grave today for the first time since the funeral on Monday. It's only been five days but most of the flowers were flattened and blemished from the rain and nibbled by slugs. However, my simple sheaf of Arum Lilies were almost perfect and, maybe I'm being silly, but I took it as a sign that our love goes on. We'd arranged for a simple vase to be sunk into the ground and I placed a dozen red…
