As a lot of you know, I lost my Beloved John on 22nd August and I feel so lost without him. I'm scared too because I don't know how I'm going to survive without seeing his face or hearing his voice except in my memory. I long to feel his arms around me again and his gentle kisses.
I'm going to have to brace myself soon to look through his papers and sort out his estate which I'm dreading. The darling man did leave a Will so it should be straight forward but it all seems so final.
His clothes are still in the wardrobes and drawers and that's where they'll stay until I can face sorting them out. Sometimes I feel like crawling inside the wardrobe and curling up there where I can still smell him.
This is the worst feeling I've ever had in my life. Up to now I've been surrounded by people but I need some time on my own, just to think about him and talk to him as if he was there in front of me or by my side.
Oh my darling. I'm missing you so much.
