17 months......and still counting

hi kathryn , its only been 6 months since my hubby died and i still feel very much like that too, somedays im fine , others i just fall apart ,i still take it one day at a time , but i have had counselling from mac and it was very helpful,

i honestly dont think grief has anything to do with time , those feelings are in our hearts and will need to come out at some point , time doesnt stop us loving someone ,

hugs jenni xxx

My late husband died 30 years ago and I still remember the pain now my present husband  has incurable bladder cancer and the pain is back again my heart goes out to you Kathryn the only words I can say are try to concentrate on the happy times you shared together you will have many down days but also you will have up days a hug from Loretta  

I am still very much in the early days of this rollercoaster ride, 2 months tomorrow. I dont know how I can help only to say that my hugs and best wishes go to you. I hope that you manage to find a way through this tough time. I always knew it would be a life long rollercoaster ride and you have confirmed that. but in a way 17months are so early too.

T

Hi Kathryn,

I am really sorry that you are having rough times. I know exactly what you mean. I went through it at 13/14 months period, and it was really horrible.

As you said, most people expect you to have "got over it", some idiots cannot even remember what happened to you!

But just hang in there, you will move onto an easier phase at some point. I got some help from a telephone buddy from an organisation called "A Different Journey", a self-support group for yound widow/widowers.

I also took up swimming (by accident) in June and that's helping me on a biochemical level.

A few weeks ago, I went to see an excellent stone carver and discussed a design for Simon's gravestone. It may sound strange, but I felt Simon was to be given another lease of life through the stone (which will take another 12 months though).

It is difficult to believe that life will ever be enjoyable when we are at the bottom of the dark pit, but it will get more manageable. You must however get a right type of help.

Lots of love and hugs,

Naoko x x x

Hi Kathryn

I am at the early stages of loosing my husband (5 weeks ago) and even in that short space of time it seems that other then close friends/relations who truly understand what I am going through, it seems that everyone else has moved on.

Some people haven't even acknowledged that Steve is no longer here.

Everything came to a head this week so I went to see my GP and started crying and all she said to me is whatever is the matter!  Do they forget in such a short space of time!  Do they see so many people that they don't remember you.

As all of the other wonderful people in our community have said, if you truely loved that person I feel that it will never leave you and will always catch you unawares.

Take comfort that we understand exactly what you have been through and are going through now.

Giving you a big hug and sending you lots of love

Ann x