It's Gone Tits Up

  • Standing in the way of control

    Another day and another situation that I don’t have a say in. Cycle 6 didn’t happen today. After doing everything I could in 2 days to have no signs of dry or swollen skin, my bloods showed my liver was running at very risky. At my last c...
  • Thanks for making me, a fighter

    Cycle 5 was very different to my previous cycles. Friday I did ok and went to bed with no symptoms after my treatment. Saturday and Sunday I went out for a little walk with very little sickness. I did feel very drunk. Like a had had one too many gin ...
  • You've got wires, coming out of your skin

    So this week has been intense but productive. I’ve had MRI and ultrasound scans and two appointments with my oncologist. First of all, all is good on the scans. No other lumps on my right side and the cancer on my left side is breaking up but n...
  • Baby I've got ya money

    So theres not much information out there on what help us cancer troopers can get when we make the decision to still work and fight for our lives. I’ve never claimed a benefit in my life so had a little look around all the cancer websites and fo...
  • I think I’m alright, I guess I’m alright

    I used to think the bedroom detox scene from Trainspotting was jaw dropping. Literally enough to put anyone off using any drug ever. When watched it today I laughed. I could do a heroin cold turkey standing on my head. This shit is nothing. Round 4 w...
  • I see girls

    As Liz Taylor said ‘pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together. And its national lipstick day today so this feels perfectly fitting. This is exactly what I did after chemo and I’ve literally had the most fun ov...
  • Three, is the magic number

    Thank god things only come in groups of three, because Friday there was two more than I could handle.  Friday was eventful to say the least. Woke up and didn’t feel absolutely rotten which was a nice start to the day. I got my ass in the s...
  • Just like a pill

    I’m half way through this shit show. Well, I’m half way through the first set of 6 chemotherapy cycles. Theres plenty more shit to come along with this breast cancer crap.  To try and combat the sickness I’ve literally been giv...
  • It's getting hot in here

    The hot flashes and cold sweats from the steroids are only one of the dementing side effects off the ‘small’ list that are all happening to all stop me feeling sick. I’ve hit the jackpot with the multiple choice on this one. All app...
  • Frankie goes to Hollywood

    Thank Christ this is anonymous and my cred hasn’t gone totally out of the window. But, this is no time for playing it cool. Today was testament to that.  The bath is my stage, the shower is my mic, ‘The power of love’ is on ful...
  • I've got you, under my skin

    My appointment was on Wednesday to have my PORT fitted. I literally can’t describe how much I was shitting myself to have this procedure done while I was awake. My sister kept telling me the NHS weren’t going to physically torture me for ...
  • Just another manic Monday

    So thank God one thing is consistent and that is my ‘get over it‘ day. Day 11. I wake up and it’s like the last 10 days were some kind of awful nightmare. I feel totally fine. Ready to face the life as we know it head on. I was up a...
  • I can mash potatoes

    I certainly have not felt like twisting but mashed potatoes have literally kept me alive this week.  It’s been 10 days since cycle 2 and fuck me. That was rough.  What I thought I was prepared for from cycle one was nothing. Mini ched...
  • I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear

    I’m defo blaming the steroids for my sudden weight gain. Although, I have eaten like an absolute monster for the last 4 weeks. Constantly feeling the need to treat myself and convincing myself I 100% deserve a pizza. Well, with that and a year ...
  • I get by with a little help from my friends

    On Friday, I went wig shopping. Truth be told, I really didn’t want to. I’m quite happy with my buzz cut and didn’t want to look like a man in drag in a bad wig that I was constantly fighting with. Turns out, wig shopping was the mo...
  • The show must go on

    Nothing to kick you back into reality then being back at work. I took one week off work from the day of my chemo. It took me that long to get over my many ailments and side effects, and was back to work from Monday. It's now been 2 weeks since m...
  • No, this is not a hair commercial

    Quoting Britney, sat here hoping to God I’m pulling off the Sinead O’Connor buzz cut. The hair loss thing has been stressing me out this whole time. Knowing that it is going to happen, and being in constant fear of when that might be. Th...
  • All week long

    As if it’s only been 7 days since I had my first chemo cycle. This is along one so settle in. This shit is guna take some stamina to fight through 6 more times of this. The thought of the effects being cumulative its literally too much to take ...
  • You make me sick

    So I’m 3 days post cycle 1 of my FEC chemo treatment. I’ll take a step back and talk you through it. I was so nervous not knowing what was going to happen or how I was going to feel but the actual appointment was a breeze. Turns out I kn...
  • You're so vein

    I haven’t even started my treatment yet and already I look like a bad drug addict. My veins look ruined. My arms and hands are all a big old bruised mess. Over the last week it’s been constant blood tests, MRI scans, CT scans. Blood out a...
  • You can buy your hair if it won’t grow

    I’ve had the chop. My beautiful 30 inch platinum blonde hair is now a very short bob. The big reveal failed. My sister was meant to shout ‘Joe! you're one beauty’. The perfect Little Women reference to add a bit of drama to the oc...
  • Let's get this show on the road

    Chemo is starting on the 28th May. Pre assessment is on Wednesday then I’m starting 6 rounds of FEC-T every 21 days. Couldn't have named it better my self. Had a bit of a snigger with the consultant about the possibility of a rebrand to '...
  • Baby Talk

    For someone who never wanted kids, I’m now stressing about wanting kids.  An appointment with the fertility clinic and the option to have eggs harvested and frozen (sounds like I’m meal prepping) is not an option. Theres no time. I...
  • Let's get down to business

    It's Stage 2, Grade 3, Triple Negative (TNBC) Breast Cancer.  We are currently measuring in at a whopping 5cm, however, We’ve got no spread (thank the lord for small mercies)  The next 4 weeks seem jam packed. My calendar has never b...
  • It's been a long time coming

    10 days my arse! It's been 17 days since the breast clinic. So the MDT meetings happen on a Monday. And it was bank holiday Monday so no MDT meeting. Why are y’all taking days off when I’m sat here going out of my mind! Time has literally...