Forever Monna's blog

At work. Worked all morning. Lunch time. Suddenly realise that I haven't heard anything about the CT scan I had yesterday. Starting to worry. My boyfriend is a radiographer and knows the person that was due to report on my scan. Why hasn't he phoned me yet? I figure that may be it's bad news and so he doesn't want to tell me whilst I'm at work because then I'll really worry. But I'm really worried now anyway because I…

Sunday to Monday Watching TV - spontaneous floods of tears. Walking down the street - spontaneous flood of tears. In the theatre watching a play - spontaneous floods of tears. How is that? Diagnosed on Friday, but it took until Monday before my body gave in. And that's how it was for the next 36 hours. Random sporadic crying anywhere and everywhere. I haven't only been upset about this thing that has infested my body…

All day I've been feeling it. All day yesterday if I think back. It won't go away. A dull tightness in my throat. In my stomach. Can't quite catch my breath. Every so often having to take deep 'sighs' just to have a full, comfortable breath in. Anxiety. I think it's anxiety. It's constant. Just thought I was feeling a little asthmatic. I don't get it majorly or anything. Just a little wheezy now and then when I'm a…

48 hours into this new diagnosis. Trying to get my head around it all. I still can't quite believe it. I keep saying to myself 'may be they made a mistake'. May be it's not cancerous at all and it's just an error. About 6 weeks ago I was lying in bed on my right side. My right arm draped over towards the left side of my body. Hand resting on the side of my boob. That's when I felt it. I FREAKED out. My partner was next…