The journey

Hi, Ok here goes: I was managing to go to Fabes mums place most days. Fabe was very ill and moved back home as he needed a hospital bed there and was on oxygen. Most days we sat holding hands and sometimes watched a film when he was awake. On the wednesday when I was there he was paricularly ill and I told his mum if things were to get worse to call the hospital. The next day was that Fabe was in hospital he…

Well I do not feel like blogging but this is part of the journey so here goes. Thursday we received devastating news, all of the tumours have grown under the funded chemo which our hopes were resting on. We were called into the consultation room and in front of us was a desk and tissues.. I always thought that when the team with whom we have become so familiar with said goodbye to us it would be for positive reasons…

Does anyone else feel that their perception of time is different now. Sometimes weeks feel like months and yet a year can go by in an almost blur. This month it's a year since Fabe had his big toe and foot bone amputated and I remember hearing the news that the op had gone well and feeling optimistic. However we then found out that while fabe was having surgery and recovering and thus unable to have chemo the smudges…

Sorry I haven't updated the blog for a while or replied to messages. I can't actually find on here how to reply to PM's. I read them on my mobile but can not reply. Well Fabe got his results and it was a mixed bag really. Some of the tumours had shrunk but one had grew under the chemo by about 37%. The team think they may try to blast this particular tumour with radiotherapy but will see if another 2 sessions of chemo…

Today Fabe and I went out together for the first time in ages. Today was not about cancer but about fun. We went to see the comedian Micky Flanagan and had forgotten what it was like to laugh so much. We had a lovely time. By the end of the night I was almost in tears though as I realised that I have not seen Fabe looking so happy for ages. Next week Fabe has his scan and that is a daunting prospect but we are hopeful…