The last part of this awful journey. R.I.P my darling angel 14.05.1979- 25/02/2012 ( true love stories never end)

Hi, Ok here goes: I was managing to go to Fabes mums place most days. Fabe was very ill and moved back home as he needed a hospital bed there and was on oxygen. Most days we sat holding hands and sometimes watched a film when he was awake. On the wednesday when I was there he was paricularly ill and I told his mum if things were to get worse to call the hospital. The next day was that Fabe was in hospital he had a cardiac arrest and they managed to revive him. He managed to tell his mum that he did not want me to see him in the state he was in, I was told that he was in intensive care but not where etc. By this point I can only say that I had lost touch with reality, my head was not here anymore and my heart although hanging on by a thread was broken. Fabes mum said that Fabe couldn't really speak but was adamant that I was not to be allowed to see him suffering further. I think in my head we had hypotised ourselves for 2 years to think positive and because my health had also declined I still imagined there was hope and a chance. I was told that Fabe had fluid on the lungs and had developed pneumonia. At 2am 25/02/12 my brave amazing courageous baby left us. We got the call in the night and I think my heart stopped beating and I screamed in pain. You can not prepare, even if to some it seems inevitable that after a long battle that you will. I could hardly walk to the hospital bed and there was my beautiful angel peacefully asleep. I held him in my arms and stroked his head and cried and cried and cried for hours. Being struck on the head with concrete and stabbed in the heart would have hurt less. My Fabe wanted to protect me, he didn't want me to see him suffer. I adore him, my loyal kind incredible Fabe. He brightened up everyones life with his sense of humour, charisma and intelligent perception of the world and His wisdom and strength. It was truly an honour to have been with him for 10 years and have been his wife (although the wedding didn't happen) They say that it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.... I believe in soul mates, angels and miracles. Fabe was from Peru and myself from England, there were obviously greater forces at work to bring us together, we were told that we were always together in lots of different lifes and I know this is true, I could see it and feel it every time we were together. I am blessed to have found my amazing awe inspiring talented soulmate. I just wish it wasn't so long until we see each other again. I question everything in life and have no idea the way forward. I believe in life you are constantly learning lessons and that different souls and spirits have different ages and lessons to learn, amongst many other things that i have learnt through this experience is what true, unconditional love is and for that at least i feel privelledged. Xxxxxxxxx