After a cancer diagnosis, it might be difficult to know what support you need from friends. When you’re supporting someone you know with cancer, it can be difficult to know how best to support them.
Some people feel that they’re not receiving the support they expected from those around them. Some may even feel that their cancer diagnosis has led them to feel ignored or excluded.
In this Community News Blog, we’ll be sharing thoughts around being supported and tips on best supporting someone when they have cancer.
If someone you know is diagnosed with cancer, you will probably want to help. But you might not know what you can do. Or you may have trouble finding the right words when speaking to them.
You might be so worried about what to say that you avoid talking. This can leave the other person feeling like they are facing the cancer alone. Although it is not you who has cancer, it can be a very hard time for you too. You will need time to accept things and cope with your own feelings. Talk to a partner, your family or friends about how you feel. You may find they want to share their feelings with you too.
We’re sorry to hear that your friend has cancer. It sounds like you’re keen to offer the support that they need and we hope that makes a big difference to how they are feeling. Members had some advice to offer around supporting a friend and what kinds of support were helpful.
As a supporting friend, you might feel a sense of powerlessness, or worry that your own responsibilities won't allow you enough time to help. You might feel that a grand gesture is needed from you, in response to such a big life event for your friend. We hope it brings you comfort to know that it's often the smallest deeds that can be most appreciated.
When friends ask how they can help, it might be hard to know what to ask for. This member came to the Community to ask for ideas.
You can click on the link at the end of the quote above if you'd like to read what members suggested.
It's good to know that some of you have good friends to rely on. Sadly we also sometimes hear that people simply aren’t receiving the emotional or practical support that they would hope to receive from their friends.
The Community had some thoughts around this and how to ask your friends for what you need.
Macmillan have information and support for anyone supporting a loved one who has cancer. There are some links at the end of this blog to help you find the right support for you. We’d recommend reading through the tips in full, but here are just a few of the suggestions for supporting a friend after diagnosis.
Find lots more support and tips on Macmillan's pages about supporting a friend.
Read the Macmillan Cancer Information Team blog about supporting a loved one with cancer.
The Online Community is a safe anonymous space where you can talk about how you are feeling. Whether you have cancer or you're supporting someone with cancer, we're here for you.
Why not start a conversation in your forums about what support you have appreciated from friends, or ask for ideas of how to best support someone?
You can also get support from:
Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
We also have separate information for you if the person you are supporting is:
