Today my nemesis got a name.
I have bladder cancer. I am highly unusual apparently, normally men over 50 who smoke get it. Go me! I always like to be individual.
I will have to start chemo next week and fairly aggressive chemo at that. We sat in the office, my husband and I, with two nurses, one doctor and a consultant. It was exactly like you see on the telly complete with dramatic breakdown of patient and patients partner…
I was allowed home on day release on Sunday. It was wonderful, home cooked food (who manages to survive on nhs food?) and most importantly cuddles with my with babies.
I breastfed them. It was relaxing and Affirming. I slept in our bed and had sleepy cuddles with them.
Yesterday I came back to hospital to be seen by the pain team. Or not as it turned out. Too busy to see me I guess. So another day wasted, who knows how…
I am sitting here at 3am rolling around in pain as per. I have taken everything I can. I just have to manage.
So I am watching Brad Pitt because I figure if I am in pain he at least might make me smile?
They want to help. The nurses are caring and understanding but I am angry. Angry that I have this thing, angry it wasn't found sooner and angry that I wanted it to be someone else. I wanted someone to have this pain…
Hi, yesterday I got the worst news. The news no one wants to hear in their 30s. I have cancer. I am a mum to four children, Inc a set of 19 month old twin boys. How has this happened to me? I did what I expect most people do in my position. Cry. A lot. My face is sore today.
My wonderful husband has taken the news with great dignity I think, not like me. My parents had mixed reactions too.
I can't keep things this massive…
