I am sitting here at 3am rolling around in pain as per. I have taken everything I can. I just have to manage.
So I am watching Brad Pitt because I figure if I am in pain he at least might make me smile?
They want to help. The nurses are caring and understanding but I am angry. Angry that I have this thing, angry it wasn't found sooner and angry that I wanted it to be someone else. I wanted someone to have this pain, this uncertainty and this Hell.
Yesterday I started telling people. Hardest thing ever. Listening to each person individually break down or desperately offer hope. I don't know if I can do this.
I know I am going to get sick, well sicker, and I don't know if I can do it. I will though because I have children.
I will take you all with me. You will all hold my hand on this on this journey and I thank you for it because I know you are out there listening and willing me to take the next step xxx
