Today my nemesis got a name.
I have bladder cancer. I am highly unusual apparently, normally men over 50 who smoke get it. Go me! I always like to be individual.
I will have to start chemo next week and fairly aggressive chemo at that. We sat in the office, my husband and I, with two nurses, one doctor and a consultant. It was exactly like you see on the telly complete with dramatic breakdown of patient and patients partner. We clung onto each other and sobbed.
We went outside and sat in the sunshine and absorbed the information that confirmed our lives will never be the same again. Ever. We also acknowledged the appearance of the huge elephant in the room, the fact I might not make it.
I feel differently about the unit of a day. They suddenly feel far more precious to me after all who knows how many more there will be?
The nursing staff have been fantastic, they have helped. But deserving special mention are my wonderful friends, they have looked after the children and been there for both of us. Every moment. They have not walked away or turned their backs. Their support has been just so much more wonderful than I can put in words. I only hope that you all have just even one friend like them. You will be rich indeed.
I also use Facebook and am amazed at the overwhelming support and love I have encountered from people I have never met.
So in my darkest hour my friends and family have shone so bright that I can see the path ahead. With them I can see what I need to do and where I need to go.
Oncologist tomorrow.
