• Outsider Looking In - Coming to Terms

    How do we come to terms when the one we love the most is no longer here? Walking around the house and seeing things which constantly remind us of them. The agonizing pain that we feel, the exhaustion that has been exerted onto us, sometimes we feel like there is no escape. That’s how I felt anyways. Every time I go to the same spots that me and Sheila went to in London, I could burst out and cry. This narrows down…

    • 8 Feb 2021
  • Outsider Looking In -Part 1

    The saying goes ‘I could count on one hand how many...” is what I wish I were typing right now when talking about the number of people in my life who have been affected by cancer, but sadly I need a lot more hands. What kind of emotions do we feel when we are the outsiders looking in? What kind of thoughts run through our heads? My main thought was how can I be the omnipotent person and make it all go away. Why do I feel…

    • 28 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 30 to 36 and the end

    Chapter 30 – Radiotherapy Begins

    The first one of nineteen sessions arrive or fifteen plus four as they call it.  The fifteen being three weeks plus four boosters which are more intensive.

    The time goes really quickly for my first few as I am in on time.  Even when I have a delay it is only about forty five minutes, usually when a scanner breaks down.  The staff have all been brilliant trying to get us on a different…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 26 - 29

    Chapter 26 – Prep for Surgery

    Pre op day and my obs are a bit low, but they seem happy so fingers crossed.  I get home and begin to feel rubbish again.  I do not need a full blown cold now, or the earache to go with it!

    I have less than a week to get over this cold, but I am getting worse.  It is so bad I am having to take Lemsip which I find repulsive.  I take the blackcurrant one as it is mildly better than the lemon…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 21 - 25

    Chapter 21 – Christmas

    It’s Christmas Eve today, I am feeling very tired after my 4th chemo, but ok to travel to family thankfully!  We are all packed ready to go and we decide we will travel after a snack lunch at home.  Our son has recovered well and will be able to enjoy a nice bath for the first time since his operation when we are at Granny and Grandpa’s house.

    We arrive and I particularly am so happy…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 15 - 20

    Chapter 15 – Round 3

    And off we go again, pre chemo blood test and oncology today.  Oncology reports are very positive, as the lump is much softer and harder to find.

    Found round 3 really hard.  As I write this I am feeling very sick and tired.  Had the steroid intravenously today for some reason which I was warned would make me feel worse.  This was a complete understatement, but I am remaining positive.  I will be…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 10-14

    Chapter 10 – Chemo Recovery

    Slept OK last night; didn’t think I would.  I had a bowl next to my bed just in case.  Should have taken the steroid slightly earlier as it took me a while to get to sleep!  And I actually don’t feel sick – amazingly happy about that.  Just have a bit of a headache today, but drinking lots of fluids.  Bought some constipation tablets (not needed yet) and ordered my waterproof…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 8-9

    Chapter 8 – Day off and normality

    Took my son to school and followed up with breakfast at Costa and some retail therapy.  I bought myself some new boots as my feet were getting wet in my old ones and a new black skirt for work.  I also bought my parents a board game called Logo for Christmas.  I don’t think I have ever bought a Christmas present in October.  First time for everything I guess!

    Now back home relaxing…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 6-7

    Chapter 6 - Weekend Break at Mum & Dad’

    Saturday morning, looking forward to today as I drive to Mum and Dad’s for a mini break.

    Be good I say to my boys as I leave to drive in the rain – typical!!  Mind you the weather is better now than an hour ago as we woke to thunder and lightning.

    I finally arrived at my parents after a horrid wet slow journey.

    Dad made me jump out of my skin as I wasn’t expecting…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me Ali B) - Chapter 4 - 5

    Chapter 4 – Results Day

    Luckily it is Thursday today and I don’t have to work.  Hubby who has been wonderful so far despite still having to go to his late mum’s house every day to sort that out for sale at the end of the month.  Did I omit to mention we had another worry/stress going on there?  Hey ho, c’est la vie, the house will be gone in a week.

    Sorry digressed there, back to the matter in hand…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Mary Allison (me) Chapter 2 & 3

    Chapter Two – Diagnosis

    I arrived at the hospital in plenty of time, parked and self checked in at the entrance and got my ticket to show the jumble of letters/numbers.  This ticket would be my turn.

    I arrived in the Breast Services Outpatients and confirm I had checked in at the Reception desk.  I took a seat and waited after putting another number in the blue tray.

    My name was called and for the second time in less…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Such is Life - Book by me under name Mary Allison - Chapter 1



    For my family, friends and all the hospital staff.  Without all of you, I don’t think I could have been strong enough to deal with the cancer or the treatment.

    Also for Wessex Cancer Trust and MacMillan Cancer.

    Chapter One – Again

    Oh dear, I thought as I found a lump about a week before our family holiday to Cyprus.  Do I stay, do I go?  How do I tell my husband, how do I tell our son…

    • 4 Jan 2021
  • Boyfriend has three months to live

    Hi everyone, 

    I just want to reach out to other people who may be experiencing the same or a similar situation as me. I feel so alone and scared! My boyfriend started having stomach pains a few months back and it got to the point where I had to call an ambulance as he was bent over sat on the edge of the bed. After about a month of scary scans we went to see his oncologist to discover he has stomach cancer that has spread…

    • 28 Dec 2020
  • Small Cell Lung Cancer - My Journey so Far

    Hi, my name is Dawn and I just felt it was time to write down my journey of my diagnosis and treatment. I have never blogged before, but thought Macmillan was the best place to start.

    I do have a strong faith in God and I am a Christian and I do talk about this.

    At the end of March 2019 I had been feeling really ill, high blood pressure, absolutely no energy and had no idea what was wrong with me! I am generally a very…

    • 18 Dec 2020
  • Ovarian cancer possibility

    I found out today I have 2 huge cysts on both ovaries, and the chances of them being cancerous is 90%. Terrified is an understatement, I'm suitable for surgery which is great but with Christmas and Covid (although on the urgent waiting list) I'm having to wait 4 to 6 weeks for the op, if they're that sure of cancer at such a high rate why would they make me wait so long?? 

    • 11 Dec 2020
  • Stage 4 NCSLC and too weak for treatment at the moment

    These past two months had been difficult for my mother. The three visits to the emergency has left my mother weak and feeling defeated. Within two months she has had Pericardiocentesis (fluid drained form the heart's sack) a biopsy and battled C.diff. So, weakness at this point is understandable. Her initial Oncology visits had been prolonged due to the hospital stays. So  hearing her oncologist say that he can't treat…

    • 9 Dec 2020
  • this upgrade

    just been on community posts print to small for me to read this upgrade with all respest is sorry not repeatable note my eyesight is fine

    • 7 Sep 2020