amy85's blog

I have been reading everyone's posts and I'm so glad I decided to come on this site. It has helped me to put cancer into perspective, in terms of the different people it effects, and the lives it ruins. I have been wrapped up in my own little world of me and dad, and there are people out there suffering, dying, surviving everyday from the disease, and I hadn't considered the others that were losing their loved ones every…

Thanks to everyone who sent me a message, I appreciate your kind words, and am so glad I have finally found people who understand what the hell I'm going through. I am having counselling, and believe it or not I am much much better than I was 6 months ago. I know they say that time heals, but I think time just numbs you, it doesn't heal anything. I think there were lots of other things that have led to my anger, because…

Not entirely sure what to write, so i thought i'd describe the dream i had a few nights ago... I was with dad hugging him, with my head buried in his chest. I was sobbing, but the noises coming out of me we low moans and i was rocking into him, like the pain was so deep it was physically pushing out of me into his body. I needed him to feel it so badly, i want him to feel the pain i have deep inside me. Is that selfish…