Dreading the new year

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

28 Dec 2009

I am really dreading the new year, I just really wish we could stay in 2009 it feels like I am losing more of Bill I know this sounds weird but I just can't get rid of this feeling ! The days are just merging with one another and I find no comfort in knowing the years to come are to be spent without him , how can anybody say time is a great healer when time is the thing that Bill did not get.We were not ready for him to go(is anybody) we thought it was beaten,we thought we were the lucky ones (how arrogant were we) but it can happen and rejoice if you are the lucky ones I wish you a long and happy life, live it, keep facing the sun,remember that you have a right to smile and be happy living your life ,you are a symbol to others that it can be beaten and for them not to despair but fight it with every fibre of their being.

2010 !!!! The first year that I will be without the love of my life how am I going to manage without him ,life is empty without him and so cold and hard, I have lost my soft place to fall on,and the voice of reason in my life without him what is the point of anything.

Feeling really sad and I miss him so so much.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

I shed a tear for you Pansy and for me. This is coming to me too.
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

new on here so dont no u like others will but i so feel it for u and sending BIG HUGS to u
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Pansy We are also in the same situation. How I wish time could just stand still so I can hold me man for a little while longer. its not too much to ask for. Then I see him suffering and think I am just being selfish.

Love Teri
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Pansy, do not know you, but I have just witten a blog and it was above yours and now I feel so selfish about moaning about what I am going through. I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you and I feel very much for you and all the others like you in this position. It must be very hard for you and cannot begin to imagine what your going through, I just want to send you a big HUG.

Duchess xx
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

You have just written exactly what I was thinking when I woke this morning. I dread January and the long, cold, dark days to come. Like you I feel like I will be leaving Colin behind in 2009, whilst I move on. So many things have already changed over the last three months, food eaten that I had bought for him, new clothes that he will never see. Over the coming weeks, months and years more will change. This frightens me. I get very precious about things he made, diy jobs he did and god help anyone who makes a negative comment about anything that was his or about something he did.

It is strange what we get upset about, I suppose it does not really matter. I remember getting upset the first time I changed the bed sheets, thinking he will never sleep in these sheets again.

We are already some way along the road of this journey, I feel sorry for all the lovely people who know their loved ones are not going to be with them for much longer and they too will have to make this sad journey .

To anyone in this position, you are not alone, there are so many lovely people on here who will help you to realise that you are not going mad and that what you are feeling is quite normal.

I thought I was strange until I read your post Pansy and it kind of made me smile to think that someone was on my wavelength. :-) One day at a time. x
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