Today Bill has his last shot of chemo ,he has had the Ivor Lewis op on the 29thApril 2009 plus three chemo sessions before and is now on his last session post op,what happens now? We have planed a holiday which we both are looking forward to so why am I feeling so scared ! I feel as if I am just waiting for the return trip to the roller coaster that we have been on for the last year.I am trying to smile and think positive thoughts but after all that we have been through it is really hard,I am worried that when the chemo stops the cancer will grow back quicker than it originally did even though I know the primary tumour was cut out with the op, but his lymph nodes after biopsies were found to have been infected as well, so you can see why I am so scared even with the chemo it still managed to get to the lymph nodes .Sorry for the doom and gloom but just had to give voice to my worries , I don't normally feel this way so have no idea why it has kicked off now when we should be looking forward to the future. hope all who read this are having a good day or as good as it can be . Nora x
