Hi everyone - I have never joined a forum before but I am hoping it will help me cope with my emotions. After a hysteroscopy and MRI scan in the last 2 weeks I learned 3 days ago that I have womb cancer and 2 days ago I had a CT scan to see if it had spread. I have accepted that I will have to have a hysterectomy but am finding it very difficult to cope with my emotions waiting for the results and subsequent treatment plan - does anyone have any hints how to cope with the drastic mood swings that I am experiencing please? One minute I am telling myself that it will all be okay and the next I just want to curl up in a corner and come out when it's all over - one way or another.
I have always been very independent and the thought of having to rely on friends is also very difficult to accept.
I look forward to hearing any coping suggestions anyone has!
Thank you
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. There is so much support on this forum and I hope you will get some comfort and reassurance from the lovely ladies here. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in July and had a laparoscopic hysterectomy in August. The waiting for each next procedure or for test results was definitely the worst part. I tried to keep off Google (difficult!) and tried to keep busy. I learnt very quickly, to put my trust in all the medical people I saw and just to worry about the next procedure. I too, am extremely independent ( live alone) but I really leant on my friends to get me through it all. Your friends will want to help you and to be there for you. I made a rota for the first 2 weeks after my surgery so that I had at least 1 person visit each day to help with jobs/ cooking and just for company. It turns out I had a quick and easy recovery and really didn’t need the help I had set up, but people still wanted to visit. Your friends will be concerned for you, so leaning on them and accepting help will in turn help them to navigate this journey with you. Don’t feel you’re being a nuisance- let them support you and you’ll get through it together.
I am post op having a full hysterectomy. I had early stage but aggressive carcinoma sarcoma and was told it was contained. I am about to start Chemo next week with Radiotherapy after and have had a CT Scan last week after having lower abdomen pain. I too am waiting for results and am frightened my cancer has spread. It has really messed with my head. Through this site I am having counselling with Bupa had my first session last week and it has helped me a lot. Give that a try xx
Hi Jessie78 and welcome to the group - and to this emotional rollercoaster ride that we’ve all either been on or are on. You asked for advice as to how to cope with the drastic mood swings: my advice would be to embrace them, accept that’s how it’s going to be for now, learn to recognise and ride the waves, and to be kind to yourself. I’d also advise you to be careful which friends and family you tell and what you tell them as other people can actually be unhelpful with things they say. When you mentioned having to rely on friends, for what in particular did you mean? If you’d like to read my story, feel free to click on my name.
Hi Jessie 78
Welcome to the Online community and the womb group.
I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis of womb cancer and remember how scary it felt when I had my diagnosis. So many tests and waiting for results. My emotions were a bit all over the place too, up and down. I found to be honest the best thing to do was to go with the flow and accept it was normal to feel like this. And also to talk things through. Sometimes it can help to talk to family and friends but sometimes it can feel easier to talk things through with someone neutral. We do have the Support Line if you feel this would help you.
I was also very independent and did worry about the support I would need. What I found though was that generally people wanted to help and that it helped them as they were feeling useful. I soon found that people liked to do specific things- some would do the tea and sympathy, some would help with practical things like getting to appointments and some liked to pick up shopping etc.
I did find I felt a bit better once I had the date for the hysterectomy and was clear on the treatment plan. It was the limbo part that I found hard.
I found keeping busy did help at sometimes and also trying to keep to some normal routines, whilst accepting that there would be times when I needed a bit of time out and a chat with a friend. I also found getting out and about for walks/in nature helped clear my head.
If you give the Support Line a call they will be able to have a look in your local area to see if there is any support close to home.
I will pop a link here to some info that you may find helpful.
Womb cancer booklet | Macmillan Cancer Support
If there is anything else you need, then please do ask.
Jane
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Hi everyone and thank you for all your kind and helpful replies to my post which I have found comforting. Until I have a date for my hysterectomy and other treatment I am only telling people that I am having a hysterectomy as that is the only certain thing that will be happening and it doesn't involve having to cope with any awkward conversations that I am not ready for emotionally at the moment. I also live on my own since my partner died from cancer 5 years ago and have always been a bit of a loner although I do have a few good friends nearby. I have always been more animal orientated than people and find it very hard to talk to people about what is going on on my life. I am stressing out about how I am going to cope with my dog both when I am in hospital and afterwards when I understand I will be able to do very little. Having my dog was a great comfort to me after my partner died and helped me cope with a very difficult situation and taking her out for her walks helped ease the stress I was going through so I am not looking forward to being unable to walk her every day. I have also been advised to keep off Google and I have managed to avoid it so far! My emotions have settled slightly but it is still horribly stressful waiting for any news and I jump every time the phone rings!
Hi Jessie
I think that just saying you are having an hysterectomy is a good plan at this stage. As you say it is the only certain thing. I found it easier sometimes to say things in stages.
I am sorry to hear of your partner.
I understand the worry about your dog. I have pets too, cats.
For the hysterectomy I was in hospital overnight and then home the following day. I was walking around ok and recovered quickly. It was a case of not over doing it, but still keeping mobile. I went for a short walk each day. With your dog, I would think that it would help if you had a friend who could hold the lead- depending on the size- as that would be something I would have been nervous about- being pulled, or twisting. I would have coped with the walk if someone helped with the lead. Maybe someone to help walk her for the first week and to come and help out after. Depends on her size and how far you would walk.
There may be some info that is helpful here.
Pet care when you have cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support
Jane
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Hi again Jessie78, very wise to only tell them about the hysterectomy - that’s what I did with the vast majority of people. What sort of dog do you have, how old is she and when you walk her is it normally on lead or off lead? If off lead you could be able to walk her reasonably soon. I was walking Alfie off lead for 5-10 mins after 4 days. If you’re normally out with your dog a couple of times a day then I’d imagine you’re reasonably fit - that should help with your recovery! And getting back to walking her should be a good incentive to get moving and active again! Recovery is an individual thing, and can depend on whether your op is laparoscopic/robotic or open surgery. When you say “will be able to do very little” what’s your source of info? Modern day hysterectomies are typically light years on from how they used to be and recoveries quicker, For me, mine was laparoscopic and I was determined to get going asap. I’d had a c section in 1989, and that was open, though lateral not vertical, and I got active pretty quickly after that so I knew it could be done. I have a husband so I wasn’t on my own, so I understand it’s a bit different for me, however, I’m also very independent and apart from putting the bins out and carrying shopping I didn’t ask him to do much. The likelihood is that you will feel tons better post op than you imagine you will. Feel free to ask any questions!
Hi everyone and thank you again for all your helpful suggestions. I had a text message yesterday with a date for a pre op check next week so hopefully the hysterectomy will be quite soon after that. Just knowing that things are moving on has calmed me down a bit as it means I can start planning - I actually slept quite well last night! I have understood from reading about hysterectomies that I won't be able to even lift a kettle but I don't know how restricted I will be with regard to moving around generally - I am hoping to find more out at my pre op check. I am lucky that I live on a farm and my dog (a rescue Dobermann) doesn't have to walk on a lead round the fields so her pulling me isn't a problem. She also has weak back legs due to cruciate ligament problems and doesn't need a lot of exercise but does need some to keep us both sane! I am hoping that a friend will come and stay with her while I am in hospital as she needs to be kept in her routine but I need to get that sorted. Her first owner died of cancer and so did my partner and I am sure she knows that there is something wrong with me. One problem I think I might have to deal with is her wanting to sleep with her head in my lap!
Hi Jessie78, I’m glad you have a date for your pre op assessment - my op was about 6 weeks afterwards but some have their ops sooner. I’m not sure where you’re reading about hysterectomies but I certainly was able to manage a kettle - just filled it from a jug not the tap, and pre-measured the quantity for a small amount. If your Dobie girl is off lead there’s no reason why you shouldn’t go out walking with her very soon post op. I walked with Alfie on day 2 or 3 post op. And maybe she’d be happy with her head on a cushion or pillow on your lap.
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