I'm a terrified newbie, hello

Hi Boo1, welcome to the group and to this emotional roller coaster ride. It’s totally normal and okay to feel anxious and all over the place on a daily basis, but, with support we can learn to get a handle on it and find what we need to cope each day and cope well. And you can too. It’s a weird feeling to know that something’s amiss inside even though we may look okay on the surface. Well done for reaching out to the Macmillan nurse - if that helped, do it again! I first phoned my CNS the day I received my diagnosis, and after that probably phoned her 2-3 times a week, and phoned the Macmillan helpline at weekends or evenings, sometimes just to say that I was anxious. How old are you? I’d advise you not to Google at all but to stick to reliable sites like Macmillan. Also only tell those who need to know and whose reactions you can trust to be helpful - I hardly told anyone! 

Thank you. I'm 59 this October and it is so good knowing there is such support and community out there! I probably should reach out more, but I am also terrified of having my suspicions, or thoughts confirmed even though I'm terrified anyway! That's a conundrum and a bit of a cycle I'm locked in to. Needing to know to move on whatever the next steps are, but wanting to defer the knowing too. My Macmillan key worker has suggested I go to meet her for coffee at the hospital but I can barely leave the house now because everything feels so wrong and am relying on glasses or red wine to cope, sleeping pills for nights and wondering whether to ask GP for daytime sedatives. How crazy is that! All my life I've eaten so healthily, kept fit and pretty much avoided all meds, and now everything is out of control..I have a post MBT appt next Wednesday..

That is interesting about the telling or not telling.. There is at once the desire to shout it to everyone so I don't have to pretend and hide myself away so no-one knows

Sorry for the downer dump ..!!

How are you?

Hi again, yep dealing with a cancer diagnosis is tough but it’s doable. All of us on this group are evidence of that. And whilst it may be tempting to reach out for things to suppress and avoid the feelings, it’s actually far better and more beneficial to face it all head on and deal with it. I’d suggest ditching the wine as alcohol is a depressant plus it can cause inflammation in your system. By all means talk to your doctor if you think you need help but talking may well be enough. Reach out and talk as often as you need to, as often as you can. Whether it’s on the phone or in person or on here. IT WILL HELP and it will also help your husband as he sees you learning to cope, which will then release him to deal with his own anxieties over it. Feel free to private message me if you’d like to chat.